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World

Men: it’s time to bring back sideburns

5 April 2023

1:37 PM

5 April 2023

1:37 PM

Our nation’s collective Man Card is on the verge of being rescinded. The number of “lonely, single men” is rising — and testosterone levels are falling. The causes of our macho decline are myriad, but a quick fix is at hand: it’s time to bring back sideburns.

It seems these days that the only facial hair options men who are not Guy Fieri consider are beard or clean-shaven.

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