Whenever a fire starts and it’s hot, usually in summer, the climate change zealots come out to gloat about how the walls of flame and smoke exist as tangible proof that the world is ending.

The reality is usually more upsetting.

Most fires these days can be traced back to arson, lit shortly after weather presenters have spent a few days painting their maps a scary shade of red and warning everyone that ‘they’re all going to die in the heat wave’.

The summer weather was given a name worthy of the climate cataclysm – Cerberus – after the three-headed dog that guards...