My friend Andrew is angry. He has just had the bat people round to look at his building project in Swanage. There was no evidence of bats that they could find, but that didn’t mean there weren’t any. A full survey would be required.

In total the non-existent bats in our village hall cost the parish more than £2,500

I advised him to pay up and not dwell on the madness, but his ire reminded me of my own recent experience with the bat fuzz.