Bernie

‘I want to stockpile and she wants to declutter.’

Relate

Bernie 7 February 2019 3:00 pm

‘I seek peace, enlightenment and an alterative to the backstop.’

Peace

Bernie 7 February 2019 3:00 pm

Blindfold

Bernie 24 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘I can’t go on — the pain is too great.’

Murray

Bernie 17 January 2019 3:00 pm

‘Wait — are we allowed beef tomatoes?’

Go vegan

Bernie 10 January 2019 3:00 pm

Brexit means

Bernie 3 January 2019 3:00 pm

Talk

Bernie 13 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘We can get them all online.’

Online

Bernie 13 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘The hot, dry summer has certainly affected the trees this year.’

Summer

Bernie 13 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘If we knew the full details of Christmas, we might be inclined to vote for it.’

Turkeys

Bernie 6 December 2018 3:00 pm

‘I swear I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.’

Vegan

Bernie 29 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’m protesting at the price of petrol bombs.’

Protesting

Bernie 29 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I was hoping for a piano but Mum got me these.’

Elton

Bernie 22 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘There’s loads of kids around — is it half term?’

Cloud

Bernie 15 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I identify as Woman Friday.’

Woman Friday

Bernie 8 November 2018 3:00 pm

Davidson

Bernie 1 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘At the moment we’re torn between these two...’

Coin

Bernie 1 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’ve come as Jo Whiley.’

Jo Whiley

Bernie 25 October 2018 2:00 pm

Cauldron

Bernie 25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘What I thought might be fun is, we sign a final deal which then immediately shreds itself.’

Brexit talks

Bernie 11 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘It’s a dancing competition in which the judges give their scores, the public votes, and each week a couple are unfaithful.’

Explaining ‘Strictly’ to an alien

Bernie 11 October 2018 2:00 pm

Boris

Bernie 4 October 2018 1:00 pm

‘Wall-to-wall Brexit again today.’

Forecast

Bernie 27 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Must you be so negative?’

Ice

Bernie 27 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Hush, hush, lower your tone,Christopher Robin is checking his phone.’

Christopher Robin

Bernie 20 September 2018 1:00 pm

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