Bernie

Life before phones

Telegrams

9 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Would you like to go for a coffee after work?’

Coffee

2 August 2018 1:00 pm

Staycation

26 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘They always have to muck around with Macbeth, don’t they?’

Punch and Judy

19 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘I remember quiet days like that.’

Flypast

12 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘Watch your language, trooper — you swear like a foreign secretary.’

Language

28 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘It’s not called “upskirting”, madam — it’s called “architrave”.’

A classical architecture gag

21 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘Peter Stringfellow has left you all his clubs.’

Stringfellow

14 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘Dad’s a lot easier to buy for now that he’s a woman.’

Fathers day

14 June 2018 1:00 pm

Trains

7 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘Apparently, few people have read it all the way through.’

Good Friday agreement

31 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘This is not just a P45 — it’s a Marks & Spencer P45.’

P45

31 May 2018 1:00 pm

Speaker

24 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘Deciding on a border was a nightmare.’

Flower show

24 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘Look mum — Kim Kardashian!’

Kim

17 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘In future, try not to leave your porridge unattended.’

The three bears

10 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘Rather warm for May.’

May

3 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘We understand that nanny and baby are doing fine.’

Doing fine

26 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Son, your mother and I would like a word…’

Wenger

26 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘A man has a right to defend himself in his own home, Verity.’

Defence

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

Flat earth

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘If you rough up one side, you get a terrific reverse swing.’

Stoning

5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Wow! I’m going to get myself a knife, bro.’

Dangerous

5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Waiter, could you ask the couple on the next table if they could speak up?’

Dining

28 March 2018 2:00 pm

‘I’ll take those three.’

Eggs

22 March 2018 3:00 pm