Jeremy Clarke

Jeremy Clarke writes the The Spectator Low Life column.

Jeremy Clarke’s date with a plank fancier

2 November 2013 9:00 am

We’d being trying to meet for lunch for weeks, but always something had got in the way and either she…

Jeremy Clarke: Running into Rachel

26 October 2013 9:00 am

I’d been trying to curb the habit — one day at a time — and then I felt a bit…

My sky-blue 50mg Viagra tablet fell on to the floor. ‘Do you need to get that?’ she said - Jeremy Clarke

19 October 2013 9:00 am

I’d booked a private one-to-one session with her for an hour on the afternoon of the day she flew in.…

Jeremy Clarke: Heaven is afternoon tea with Suzi Quatro

12 October 2013 9:00 am

A surprisingly convivial atmosphere prevailed in the second-class carriage of the fast London-bound train when I stepped aboard at Bodmin.…

Jeremy Clarke: Morality in children depresses me

5 October 2013 9:00 am

I went to a Tibetan yoga all-day workshop. Tibetan yoga is very simple. It would be hilariously so if it…

Morning after

28 September 2013 9:00 am

I woke up in the foetal position, on my back, on Trev’s tiny sofa, with an old curtain over me.…

Jeremy Clarke: Taki makes me feel like dancing

21 September 2013 9:00 am

‘Jeremy! Jeremy! I can’t believe it! There’s no bloody booze!’ I’d walked into the music room where Elgar and Fauré…

Jeremy Clarke: How to cheat at a pub quiz without even knowing it

14 September 2013 9:00 am

One evening last week, I trotted over to the caravan site’s clubhouse to use the wifi and pick up emails.…

Jeremy Clarke: War games on Polzeath beach

7 September 2013 9:00 am

We picked up the key to the caravan, let ourselves in, ascertained the phone signal situation (none) and went to…

Jeremy Clarke: The day I walked into a postcard

31 August 2013 9:00 am

This time last year the postman delivered a picture postcard depicting a village square in Provence. The photograph on the…

Jeremy Clarke in France: A couple of formidables, dinner with bucketfuls of rosé, dancing, cognac with sugar cubes and a delightful romance

24 August 2013 9:00 am

Golly my testicles are shrinking fast. At this rate by Christmas they’ll be down to the size of garden peas.…

Jeremy Clarke’s joy at a two-speed oscilating fan in la chaleur TGV

17 August 2013 9:00 am

Hotel Trepaner, St Raphael, French Riviera: I have read all ten reviews on this site. The overall rating (given by…

His first night out in three weeks and Jeremy Clarke failed to pull

3 August 2013 9:00 am

I haven’t been out for three weeks and I’m up for a big night. To prove it I’m wearing my…

Jeremy Clarke: Despite the rioting and suicides, there’s nowhere quite like Dartmoor

27 July 2013 9:00 am

‘How was your journey?’ I said. In summer, the place next door is let to visitors on a weekly basis.…

Jeremy Clarke: I don't want to lose my grandsons

20 July 2013 9:00 am

We were watching Top Gear. I was sitting on a wobbly fold-up chair at a rickety garden table in a…

I didn't want to talk about my cancer. But then I got to the party...

13 July 2013 9:00 am

Searching the web for information about the enigmatic Bilderberg group, I came across a website called Who Controls America? It’s…

Jeremy Clarke: 'Can you part your cheeks a bit?’ I did so. There was a stunned silence

6 July 2013 9:00 am

Sir Francis Drake died of dysentery while attacking the town of San Juan in Puerto Rico. He was buried at…