How can I avoid power handshakes? They hurt my fragile knuckles
Q. How does one avoid power handshakes? Twenty-five years of wicket-keeping have left me with pathetically fragile knuckles, and each…
Dear Mary: My daughter’s new boyfriend isn’t on Facebook – how do I snoop?
Q. Recently I held a party at which some people were meeting each other for the first time. One social-climbing…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my landlords they’ve ruined my life?
Q. For some time I have been spoiled by paying a small rent for a central flat belonging to absentee…
Dear Mary: how can we dissuade friends from visiting when one of us is ill?
Q. Obviously one is delighted to have visits from close friends and family when one’s spouse is ailing, but how…
Dear Mary: How can we get our star friend along to dinner when he’s so busy?
Q. We want to invite a rather exceptional friend to dinner. He lives nearby but he has a top job…
Dear Mary: What do you do when your secretary accuses you of not making a pass?
Q. I am at the age where parts of the body start to go wrong, and I have a minor…
Dear Mary: I keep needing the loo during formal dinner parties – help!
Q. My wife and I have been invited to a small but formal dinner in the presence of some impressive…
Dear Mary: how do you deal with a daughter who has gone vegan to get attention?
Q. Several friends have reached an age and wealth that means they take unreasonably long holidays or even entire gap…
Mary solves your problems: How can I get over my smartphone separation anxiety?
Q. I will be 80 in March and all my friends will expect to be asked to the celebration. My…
Mary solves your problem: Is it cultural appropriation for an English person to attend a Burns supper?
Q. Should the lady or the gentleman have the banquette in a restaurant? I’ve been brought up to believe that…
Mary solves your problems: A secret school scrapbook discovered by the housemaster
Q. At my son’s school the boys keep a clandestine leatherbound book known as ‘The Bible’, a sort of Rogues…
How to date without getting sued: Dear Mary’s modern guide
For the young heterosexual Spectator male, the dating world is beset with perplexities. It was all so different in his…
Dear Mary solves problems for Vince Cable, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Lord Archer and Ruth Davidson
From Sir Vince Cable MP Q. I have an unfulfilled ambition to win a national title for ballroom dancing in…
Mary solves your problems: What do you say when a screaming child is ruining your lunch?
Q. My wife and I were having lunch in our local bistro. A boy of about two was wandering around…
Mary solves your problems: what’s the right response to a request for no presents?
Q. We have reached the age when we are receiving invitations from our friends for Golden Wedding celebrations. All the…
Mary answers your problems: The tactful way to get rid of a drunk guest
Q. I was recently at an informal dinner given by two dear friends, but returned home seething with rage against…
Mary solves your problems: My husband’s started working from home – and he’s driving me crazy
Q. My husband, who used to be away on business most of the time, now works from home and has…
Mary solves your problems: A family friend stays over all the time – but never actually asks us out
Q. We have a family friend we don’t see nearly as much as we’d like. This is because he’s so…
Mary answers your problems: How can I stop guests from showing up early?
Q. Twice in one week I have been found unready for my guests. Occasion one: in the garden, finishing my…
Dear Mary
Q. What is the etiquette of hospital visiting? A friend in his fifties is about to spend six weeks in…
Dear Mary
Q. A newish friend who has very good manners lent me a DVD of his grandfather at the Olympics. I…
Dear Mary
Q. A well-known television mogul,whom I had met only once, came to dinner at my house. I was on good…
Dear Mary
Q. We have moved from London into a rural area where we are preparing for the first visit of a…
Dear Mary
Q. How can I avoid becoming seen as an ‘Instagram creeper’? My well-meaning niece tells me that I’m in danger…
Dear Mary
Q. Last year my husband and I stayed with a much-loved, but slightly airy-fairy friend in her house in Tuscany.…
