Dear Mary: How can I stop my neighbour pacing the ceiling?
Q. The woman who lives above me has insomnia and walks around all night. I’m also disturbed by her rather…
Dear Mary: how can I stop my husband from chopping down all our trees?
Q. My husband — currently unemployed — has started ‘sourcing’ logs from our own smallholding. Chopping down perfectly good trees, sawing logs,…
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends staying after a 21st?
Q. A neighbour is hosting a party for his daughter’s 21st birthday. Adequate provision has been made for anyone who…
Dear Mary: Someone told me their extraordinary life story, but I tuned the whole thing out
Q. After a recent dinner I found myself on a two-seater sofa enjoying the restful company of a woman who…
Dear Mary: How will Joan Collins introduce herself now she’s a dame?
Q. We enjoyed the Christmas University Challenge series featuring mature graduates, some of whom were more in the public eye than…
Dear Mary: What can I do about my neighbours’ downmarket recycling?
Q. Since recycling was introduced in our village, the wall at the end of our drive has become the depositing…
Dear Mary solves problems for Jim Broadbent, N.M. Gwynne, Jesse Norman and others
Once again Mary has invited some of her favourite figures in the public eye to submit personal queries for her…
Dear Mary: How do you stop someone wearing leather trousers to work?
Q. My husband employs an ageing rocker in his shop. She is highly efficient, and is an extremely nice woman.…
Dear Mary: Do I really have to take my shoes off indoors?
Q. There has been a marked increase in the number of people who have pristine flooring and are so keen…
Dear Mary: Dealing with your old friends now you’re a big success
Q. Success has come to me in later life with an unfortunate side effect. Since my career has taken off,…
Dear Mary: How to talk to friends whose book you haven’t read
Q. What is the correct thing to say to a writer friend whose book you haven’t read? I buy most…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my future son-in-law saying ‘must of’
Q. My future son-in-law has been successfully house-trained in the use of upper-middle-class English over the years that he has…
Dear Mary: Is there a tactful way to shorten the guest list for my 21st?
Q. I am organising my 21st birthday party at our family house in Italy. It is a fantastic location, but…
Dear Mary: Learning to love a man who whistles through his nose
Q. What can you do when disorganised friends say they would love to come to a concert with you but…
Dear Mary: Can I ask for a lift on my friend’s private jet?
Q. We have moved to the country and my husband often prefers me to drive — not because he wants to…
Dear Mary: Can I run out on an apprenticeship for my dream interview?
Q. I have been trying to get an apprenticeship in fashion for over a year without success. I just had…
Dear Mary: Must we tip other people's servants in London, too?
Q. What is the etiquette on tipping in London houses? I have been in the habit of staying with friends…
Dear Mary: How can I sneak into a talk my son is giving without him seeing me?
Q. The Idler Academy is within walking distance of my house and I note from the programme of autumn events…
Dear Mary: Is there anything that can stop companies throwing away my CV?
Q. I graduated this year (I got a first) and have written more than 70 letters to potential employers. Those…
Dear Mary: Is it rude to answer my child's call when I'm already on the phone?
Q. My problem is that an older friend, with whom I enjoy lengthy telephone chats, becomes furious when my call…
Dear Mary: How would you answer Radek Sikorski’s goose-stepping question?
Q. In his Spectator notebook of 30 August, describing a recent gaudy at the Oxford college he attended in the…
Dear Mary: Is it an insult to be given anti-ageing cream?
Q. When someone gives you anti-ageing cream as a present, is that an insult or a compliment? — A.O., Provence…
Dear Mary: Show me the tactful way to pay for a lift
Q. My neighbour is really lovely and always helps me chainsaw trees. He used to be the herdsman at the…
Dear Mary: What do we do with a teenage guest who hogs the bathroom?
Q. We have taken a flat in Edinburgh for a month and a young girl, temporarily homeless and a friend…
Dear Mary: Help me hunt down my priceless missing book
Q. A scholarly book of great importance to me appears to have gone missing from my library. It was heavily…
