Dear Mary: How to accept wine refills at parties without getting drunk
Q. At a drinks or a dinner party, when very attentive waiters are hovering, I tend to let them keep…
Dear Mary: How can I tame my brother’s savage table manners?
Q. I live far away from my brother and his family, but went to stay with them recently for the…
Dear Mary: How do I train my husband not to shout for me from far-flung rooms?
Q. My former cleaner has now retired and lives nearby. I visit her with clockwork regularity and always enjoy seeing…
Dear Mary: Our holiday hosts swim naked
Q. We have recently returned from Provence where we stayed the first night with distant relatives. We woke on a…
Dear Mary: Do men really have worse table manners when they’re on their own?
Q. My 16-year-old son, who has recently had his first experiences of Clubland, has observed to me, his mother, that…
Dear Mary: How can I evade nosy questions at parties?
Q. How, in a party context, can one avoid answering what used to be called ‘nosey’ questions without being rude?…
Dear Mary: What's the cure for a workshy teenager?
Q. I agreed to give (paid) gap-year work experience in my own large garden to the grandson of an extremely…
Dear Mary: What’s the best way to turn down charity requests?
Q. I am the co-owner of a chocolate business which regularly receives requests for donations of goody bags and raffle…
Dear Mary: Is there a polite way to ask for the return of a handbag full of cash?
Q. A friend regularly hires a stall at a general neighbourhood market in order to sell surplus second-hand clothes and…
Dear Mary: What’s the best way to squash a bore?
Q. Two acquaintances of mine have somehow inveigled their way into my dining circuit. They are men who, despite privilege…
Dear Mary: How can I make my polite English husband interrupt like a German?
Q. My dear English husband has never mastered the knack of timing his interventions in conversation. He hesitates politely, and…
Dear Mary: How can I make sure I get frisked at airports?
Q. An architect is overseeing some builders at my house. She is a perfectly nice woman but has a maddening…
Dear Mary: How can I spike a gossip-pedlar’s guns?
Q. On arrival at a top level dinner, I was surprised to see at the table a woman who, I…
Dear Mary: Help! Wet wipes keep blocking the drains at our caravan park
Q. My sister and I own a popular caravan park which, for 30 years, has given happiness to around a…
Dear Mary: Do I grass on my son’s schoolfriend?
Q. My son was invited, both verbally and via Facebook, to a schoolfriend’s 16th birthday party. However, when I met…
Dear Mary: How can we pin down our neighbours' rogue apostrophes?
Q. We have just moved into a charming little hamlet in Warwickshire and were delighted to find a bottle of…
Dear Mary: My teenager insists on an NHS operation. What can I do?
Q. Our son, aged l6, has a medical condition which, although not life-threatening, requires surgery by a specialist to pre-empt…
Dear Mary: How can I escape the tyranny of teacher presents?
Q. It’s only April and yet I am being emailed by parents who have already taken charge and are drumming…
Dear Mary: What can I do about guests who don’t know how to wash up properly?
Q. I have three spare bedrooms in London and I welcome friends to come and stay. Unfortunately, some of these…
Dear Mary: How long must I wait to tuck in?
Q. I am always making or receiving phone calls which get cut off. When I ring the person back their…
Dear Mary: Is there any way to wriggle out of a phone invitation?
Q. Is there a tactful way to keep one social offer on hold while waiting to see if you have…
Dear Mary: How can I check if my dentist uncle really meant to charge me?
Q. My uncle, who is a brilliant dentist, has looked after my teeth since I was little. He also sees…
The question that Dear Mary refuses to answer
Q. One of my best friends, who knows I don’t have a great social life at university, has a brother…
Dear Mary: How do you escape from a stranger's childhood trauma story?
Q. Recently a cousin and I gave a small drinks party in the USA. She had invited a very elegant…
Dear Mary: What do I do now I haven’t sent a thank-you letter?
Q. Over New Year I stayed with a man who combines being a generous and exciting host with a punctilious…
