Melissa Kite

Melissa Kite writes The Spectator's Real life column.

If a bloke can wear stockings and suspenders in a stable yard why can’t I?

23 October 2021 9:00 am

We had gone to visit a friend at a stable yard on a country estate on a crisp autumn Sunday.…

My horse is allergic to beige carpet

16 October 2021 9:00 am

The horse lorry arrived and lowered its ramp — and I stood in front of it knowing that my thoroughbred…

In defence of panic buying

9 October 2021 9:00 am

The filling station on the road out of the village was like a scene from Mad Max. People were all…

In praise of bots

2 October 2021 9:00 am

British Gas finally agreed to service my boiler, for no reason I could make out other than the boiler wasn’t…

Are the builder boyfriend and I falling apart?

25 September 2021 9:00 am

After the landowner told us to be out in three weeks, then admitted we had three months to move our…

Our East Sussex house-hunting nightmare

18 September 2021 9:00 am

The two-acre smallholding lived up to its name in being very, very small indeed. We had to squeeze around the…

Why I’m going to start speaking in acronyms

11 September 2021 9:00 am

‘I’ve got COPD,’ said a friend of mine, not elaborating at all as I stared at him waiting for him…

You need to be a millionaire to move to Wales

4 September 2021 9:00 am

We began searching for the farm of our dreams in Wales as we planned our escape from Surrey. The problem…

The end of an era: after 20 years we must move our horses off the farm

28 August 2021 9:00 am

The letter arrived in a hand-addressed envelope, inside of which was a handwritten note. After everything we have been through,…

I’m not ill but I’m not as I was: how Covid takes its toll

21 August 2021 9:00 am

If it’s true that the virus finds your weak spot, it has lodged itself like an evil monkey in my…

Why I’m thanking God, my immune system and garlic

14 August 2021 9:00 am

‘Contact a GP if you’re worried about symptoms four weeks after having Covid.’ That was the NHS quote on the…

The lost dogs of Surrey

7 August 2021 9:00 am

The woman pulled up in her flashy 4×4 which was meandering along the farm track in that way people have…

To be jabbed – or not to be jabbed?

31 July 2021 9:00 am

The doctor’s receptionist was adamant. ‘If you had not had the vaccine you would have been even more ill with…

I enjoy making a nuisance of myself for a good cause

24 July 2021 9:00 am

The scaffolding pole across the public footpath led to a farcical conversation with the local council. I had been walking…

We have incurred the wrath of the shoot boys

17 July 2021 9:00 am

Since telling the shoot we won’t let them use the land we rent, we have been beset by a series…

Why I’ve gone off country sports

10 July 2021 9:00 am

‘Oh, I do so love to see all the lovely pheasants running around the place,’ said the lady walking the…

The National Trust delinquents strike again

3 July 2021 9:00 am

The woman sat alone and stony-faced in the passenger seat of the car as it blocked the road. She was…

I’m gypsy and proud

26 June 2021 9:00 am

Exciting news from my father’s cousin in Canada. ‘You asked about our grandfather, there is much to tell,’ he writes.…

My medical embarrassments are my business and no one else’s

19 June 2021 9:00 am

While we were looking forward to Freedom Day, the National Health Service was busy planning something extra special to coincide…

The truth about Surrey’s obsession with horse masks

12 June 2021 9:00 am

A saloon car pulled up opposite our fields and a man sat there looking at the horses with a bewildered…

Why I finally succumbed to my musclebound osteopath

5 June 2021 9:00 am

‘You’ll come back when you’re in enough pain,’ said the osteopath as I walked out of his door. That was…

How can we feed our horses when there’s no hay?

29 May 2021 9:00 am

‘We’re closed for lunch,’ said the farmer, sitting behind the counter of his farm shop with a scowl on his…

Crunch time: why has Walkers changed its salt and vinegar crisps?

29 May 2021 9:00 am

Henry Walker might never have got into the crisp business were it not for the fact that his Leicester butcher’s…

Just how far will the NHS go to get me jabbed up?

22 May 2021 9:00 am

More threatening letters from the NHS demanding I let them jab me up with two Covid vaccinations. Or as the…

Our local councillors who’ve lost their seats must be sighing with relief

15 May 2021 9:00 am

An angry text exchange between me and a former Tory councillor after she lost her seat has got me thinking.…