Nick Newman

‘Now he knows what it’s like to be in a black hole.’

Hawking

Nick Newman 28 March 2018 2:00 pm

‘Relax – the Novichok will get you before the cyber attack.’

Virus

Nick Newman 22 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘Is that Mike Pompeo’s welcome or leaving card?’

Good luck

Nick Newman 15 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘We’ve got you off your stabilisers — next performance-enhancing drugs.’

Drugs

Nick Newman 8 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘Was the lecture cancelled due to snow or snowflakes?’

Snowflakes

Nick Newman 8 March 2018 3:00 pm

Triggers

Nick Newman 1 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘They’re easier to come by than chickens.’

KFP

Nick Newman 1 March 2018 3:00 pm

Molementum

Nick Newman 22 February 2018 3:00 pm

‘If your train set doesn’t work get it nationalised.’

Trains

Nick Newman 15 February 2018 3:00 pm

‘Every time I wake up it’s Brexit Day.’

Brexit day

Nick Newman 8 February 2018 3:00 pm

‘I hope this doesn’t degenerate into an elite city charity gala.’

Meat Market

Nick Newman 1 February 2018 3:00 pm

‘It’s the Prince William look.’

Prince William

Nick Newman 25 January 2018 3:00 pm

New Calais border cheque

Calais border

Nick Newman 25 January 2018 3:00 pm

‘I’m afraid we missed our target to see you within four hours.’

A&E

Nick Newman 18 January 2018 3:00 pm

‘An apology should get us off the hook.’

Winter Flu

Nick Newman 11 January 2018 3:00 pm

‘Even the Transport Secretary isn’t going anywhere.’

Reshuffle

Nick Newman 11 January 2018 3:00 pm

‘I was hoping to pick up a peerage in the January sales.’

Sales

Nick Newman 4 January 2018 3:00 pm

‘Typical Virgin — overcrowded, standing room only and no public announcements.’

Virgin

Nick Newman 13 December 2017 3:00 pm

Noah

Nick Newman 13 December 2017 3:00 pm

‘There are bitcoins in the virtual pudding.’

Bitcoin

Nick Newman 13 December 2017 3:00 pm

‘One by one, the doors all close.’

Advent

Nick Newman 7 December 2017 3:00 pm

‘I’m already bored with the royal wedding — what’s the latest on Brexit?’

Wedding

Nick Newman 30 November 2017 3:00 pm

‘MPs have 470 words for No.’

Brexit Bill

Nick Newman 23 November 2017 3:00 pm

Lewis Hamilton — world champion.

Hamilton

Nick Newman 16 November 2017 3:00 pm

‘I hope this witch hunt doesn’t turn into an official inquiry.’

Hunt

Nick Newman 9 November 2017 3:00 pm

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