The Spectator

‘The A stands for appeasement.’

Captain

5 April 2014 9:00 am

‘There’s a copy of Crime and Punishment in the cake.’

Prisoners

5 April 2014 9:00 am

Costa

5 April 2014 9:00 am

‘We were always an odd couple. I’m a man, she’s a woman — it was never going to work.’‘We were always an odd couple. I’m a man, she’s a woman — it was never going to work.’

Bar

5 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Stop calling us ugly and we’ll stop inflicting emotional child abuse.’

Cinderella

5 April 2014 9:00 am

Warning

5 April 2014 9:00 am

‘My job title doesn’t really reflect what I do.’

Title

5 April 2014 9:00 am

‘What’s wrong? You’ve hardly touched your phone.’

Phone

5 April 2014 9:00 am

Psychologist

5 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Sure saves on a wedding photographer.’

Wedding

5 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I feel it only fair to warn you that from this point on your life will change for ever.’

Shoes

5 April 2014 9:00 am

Mp

5 April 2014 9:00 am

Putin's aggression is the price of western weakness

29 March 2014 9:00 am

One cannot legislate for a quiet world. When a former Princeton University college professor was elected president of the United…

Portrait of the week

29 March 2014 9:00 am

Home David Cameron, the Prime Minister, said that inheritance tax ‘shouldn’t be paid by people who’ve worked hard and saved…

The not-so-great escapes

29 March 2014 9:00 am

Escapology This week marked the 70th anniversary of the Great Escape, when 76 Allied servicemen tunnelled out of Stalag Luft…

Spectator letters: Bereaved parents against press regulation, and a defence of Tony Benn

29 March 2014 9:00 am

Why we need a free press Sir: As bereaved parents and (to borrow from some signatories of last week’s advertisement)…

An Orpen fest: ‘Self-portrait’, 1917, by William Orpen

Books and Arts

29 March 2014 9:00 am

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‘There’s only one sanction Putin will respond to – we must throw Russia out of the Eurovision Song Contest immediately.’

Eurovision

29 March 2014 9:00 am

Booty

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Congratulations! It’s a jobless young person.’

Jobless

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Men — they’re all the same.’

Burka

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘We’ll start with a pub and a bingo hall.’

Osborne

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m in for assaulting Ant, but it’s a case of mistaken identity — I thought it was Dec.’

Dec

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Dad, can I borrow the pension pot for the weekend?’

Pensioner

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m bravely taking a make-up-free selfie.’

Clowns

29 March 2014 9:00 am