The Spectator

‘Darling, they’re playing our ringtone!’

Darling

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘You’ll have to subscribe to hear the rest of his sentence.’

Subscribe Grizelda

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Just how many lives does Michael Gove have?’

Cat Newman

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘You’re not by any chance related to George Osborne?’

Smile Wood

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I don’t care what her name is — why can’t you do something useful like invent a wheel?’

Caveman Turner

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I’ve never been to a conversion to Corbynism ceremony before.’

Witch Grizelda

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I don’t fancy being stuck in the jungle with Paul Nuttall!’

Jungle Newman

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘What climate change?’

King Thompson

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘The general or the infirmary? I’m easy either way.’

Ambulance Dredge

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Take you to my leader? OK, but we’d better be quick.’

Alien Thompson

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Quick! To the batgrave!’

RIP Bernie

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Feeling cheap, used and empty usually means the detox has worked.’

Tea

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

May needs her party

10 June 2017 9:00 am

As if we needed reminding, this past week has shown that the Islamist threat is a truly global problem. In…

Letters

10 June 2017 9:00 am

Terrorists’ guilt Sir: A small contribution to the psychological war: when the next atrocity happens, could the BBC and other…

Portrait of the week

10 June 2017 9:00 am

Home Eight people were killed and 48 taken to hospital when three men, in a hire van travelling south shortly…

The potato’s finest hour

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

From ‘Our friends the vegetables’, 9 June 1917. The food shortage, and the consequent necessity of planting every available space with…

‘It’s set in a utopian future.’

TV Bernie

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Apparently no two snowflakes are the same.’

Snowflake Thompson

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I’d prefer a bed.’

Hospital

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Of course they’re pink! I’m an albino!

Peacocks

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

Faux Bernie

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘We’d like to spend more time embarrassing our children.’

Retirement Grizelda

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘No, I said it was a Michelin tyre restaurant.’

Bistro NAF

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

Words

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I’m making him take a spin class.’

Spin

8 June 2017 1:00 pm