Notes on…
My time as the speaking clock
Ask young people today if they know that they can dial a number to hear the time and you would…
Toffee apples: a dangerous food for frightening nights
Bonfire night is more about burning Catholics than haute cuisine and it shows. I’ve always felt for Catholic friends at…
Halloween is the time for fairies
Among the many options available for Halloween costumes and decorations these days, from witches to zombies, from mummies to serial…
Make pirates scary again
If there’s one thing to bring out your inner Herod, it’s the twee tendency in younger children’s books. It’s at…
The art of swearing
Sometimes it’s the only word that will do. Every journalist at Max Verstappen’s press conference last month understood him perfectly…
Bring back the stiffy!
The other day, clearing out boxes, I stumbled on a sheaf of invitations from childhood. Decorated with trains and fairies,…
Trams make a comeback
Earlier this month, the fortunate folk of Frankfurt were entertained by the 11th annual tram-drivers competition, with entries from 26…
Cheers to corkscrews!
For the first 50 years of the corked bottle, there was no easy way to get into it. The combination…
How to roll the perfect cigarette
I recently estimated that, in my smoking life so far and at the age of 29, I have rolled 87,600…
Bring back the briefcase!
The final straw was seeing Jeremy Hunt wearing one shortly before the summer recess – and not just when riding…
The unappetising truth about tasting menus
The tasting menu has fallen from fashion, and this is good. They are a curio – a window to the…
A connoisseur’s guide to collecting matchboxes
We’d been told it would be a ‘brat’ summer, characterised by its inventor, the singer Charli XCX, as ‘a pack…
How bus travel lost its magic
At the former Chiswick Works in west London, I recently celebrated the Routemaster’s 70th birthday. I owe my existence to…
Love it or loathe it, ragwort is winning
White, lacy cow parsley frothing along the roadside is a familiar sight during the British summer. But 2024 is the…
Venn diagrams are the perfect tool for a politician
‘I just love Venn diagrams,’ Kamala Harris said in 2022. ‘It’s just something about those three circles, the analysis about…
The joy of party bags
The perfect, unpretentious, well-constructed party bag was given to guests leaving a recent Hatchards party. It contained a wedge of…
Are you a Gail’s or a Wimpy voter?
Liberal Democrat activists were reportedly told to ‘get out the Gail’s vote’, targeting people who visit the over-priced artisanal cafés.…
The cult of the water bottle
The water bottle is no longer just a water bottle. It is a status symbol. It is an extension of…
Gins in tins – the Yummy Mummy’s ruin
I’m writing this in my car, laptop on knees and a delicious can of Tanqueray Flor de Sevilla gin and…
My garden decor advice for Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson has three lifesize, carved wooden elephants in his garden, given to him by his wife for his 60th…
The grubby world of political betting
If you’re going to fleece a bookies, it would be wise to ask a friend to place the bet on…
Madrí wouldn’t fool a true Spaniard
Four years ago, Madrí didn’t exist. Today, the faux Spanish lager is sold in a quarter of British pubs, which…
What war graves teach us about peace
Hugh Jones was 29 when he was killed in action. On Wednesday, the eve of the 80th anniversary of D-Day,…
