Dear Mary
Dear Mary: How do I stop people cadging cigarettes off me?
Q. My mother died a few months ago. Her collection of colourful clothes, hats, shoes and an immense amount of…
Dear Mary: I won a bet – how do I make my friend pay up?
Q. A delightful but disorganised friend has invited several of our circle for a weekend at his family’s beautiful country…
Dear Mary: What should I do when my host won’t serve the champagne I brought?
Q. Was I right to feel aggrieved when, having contributed a bottle of fine champagne to a small supper party,…
Dear Mary: I’m disabled – how can I stop my carer being so controlling?
Q. I am a disabled man with a good brain and an independent bent. However, I need help to wash…
Dear Mary: What should you do when friends invite you to lunch but don’t offer wine?
Q. I was invited to birthday drinks in London. On my way there the name of someone I haven’t heard…
Dear Mary: did our friends regift us out-of-date chocolates?
Q. A university friend and I want to get an invitation to a very good shoot owned by a colleague…
Dear Mary: how can I tell my chatty masseur to stop talking?
Q. Like many of his profession, Manolo, my most-proficient masseur, has the gift of the gab and maintains a garrulous…
Dear Mary: how can I stop myself procrastinating?
Q. I am not a professional writer but on the strength of a short piece I contributed to a Festschrift…
Dear Mary: how can I make my timid husband ask for a longer haircut?
Q. We sent out email invitations to our drinks party and have had too many acceptances. The venue has said…
Dear Mary: how can I stop my husband from hijacking my punchlines?
Q. A woman I’ve known for years is getting divorced and rings me every day to talk about it. I…
Dear Mary: how do I stop my minister giving sermons about Brexit?
Q. I belong to a religious congregation whose minister is politically minded. Every time I attend a service, I am…
Dear Mary: how do I stop a man making lewd comments?
Q. My wife’s closest friend and her husband visit us every couple of months or so. Without fail he will…
Dear Mary: what’s the polite way to ascertain someone’s gender?
Q. When my mother was widowed ten years ago she decided to take in lodgers to pay the gardener’s bills…
Dear Mary: what should we do about a possible thief in our school dormitory?
Q. I run a very small mail-order company from home. Recently I received an exceptionally rude email from a disgruntled…
Dear Mary: Plastic or wooden loo seats?
Q. Please advise on how I can move on from a social impasse. My best friend of 50 years claims…
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Dear Mary: how can I hide that I’m no longer drinking?
Q. I have given up drink except on certain occasions when it would be really rude to refuse. What’s the…
![[ISTOCKPHOTO.COM]](https://www.spectator.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/iStock_482988416.jpg?w=410&h=275&crop=1)
Dear Mary: How can I get my annoying children to answer my texts?
Q. I have learned through a third party that a friend, who is feeling particularly insecure these days, has not been…
Dear Mary: How can I deal with an aggressive Big Issue seller?
Q. I wondered if you could advise me on a rather embarrassing situation please. I sing in my local Church…
Dear Mary: Should I ever tip at a private club?
Q. I am an artist living in the UK and was charmed to be invited by a fellow artist, a…
Dear Mary: how do I stop a Londoner dominating my village book club?
Q.A senior colleague, on discovering that I’m a friend of someone who has become quite famous, engaged with me warmly…
Dear Mary: We have new friends but can’t bear to eat in their filthy kitchen. What to do?
Q. I note that (Dear Mary, 12 January) you advised your correspondent, resentful of Christmas expenditure, to offer instead ‘mutual…
Dear Mary: How do I get an answer from my elusive publisher?
Q. What is the current etiquette regarding chasing an opinion from a publisher to whom, by agreement and via a…
Dear Mary: is it ever acceptable to use a dental brush at the dinner table?
Q. Whenever I go to the theatre or cinema with any man of 60-plus, he falls asleep, even when the…
Problems solved for Michael Fabricant, Liz Truss, Piers Morgan, Richard Madeley, Anthony Horowitz and others
From Michael Fabricant MPQ. When I go for intimate meals at a restaurant with a friend, I am invariably asked…
Dear Mary: my Botox treatments make me look standoffish. How can I appear warm?
Q. A friend and I are giving a combined Christmas drinks party for 120 people. It’s being held at her…
