Dear Mary
Dear Mary: How can I stop chatty friends from phoning when I’m meant to be working?
Q. May I pass on a tip to anyone facing large family house parties at Christmas? I always used to…
Dear Mary: How can I turn my arrogant son into a snowflake?
Q. I am organising my 30th birthday party weekend at a large country house kindly lent to me by friends…
Dear Mary: How do I stop rabbits eating Mum’s graveside flowers?
Q. A difficult couple of our acquaintance always object to other guests at dinner and can be very rude to…
Dear Mary: What can I do about loud train snorers?
Q. At every drinks party one will be in mid-conversation with another guest and someone will walk over and loiter…
Dear Mary: How can I face the friends who warned me that my girlfriend would dump me?
Q. Previously a long-term and content single man, earlier in the year I began a relationship with a wonderful girl,…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my wife from sabotaging my anecdotes?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 50 years. The marriage is basically sound but she has recently…
Dear Mary: My friend’s cooked breakfasts make me gag
Q. My fiancé and I spend many great weekends with another couple. I am a vegetarian and quite particular about…
My long gossipy letters to an old friend get just a few words in response
Q. An old friend shares aesthetic sensibilities and tastes in people. Hence we have sustained a highly enjoyable correspondence over…
Dear Mary: what do you say to neighbours who find you in your nightdress?
Q. I recently gave a jolly dinner for eight friends (some old, some rather famous), all home cooking, ending with…
Dear Mary: Is it really forbidden to eat with a fork’s tines facing upwards?
Q. My husband and I have been invited to the birthday party of a distinguished public figure with whom we…
Dear Mary: Our insufferable children are rounding on our eightysomething neighbour
Q. A neighbour, a wonderful old friend in his late eighties, is a marvellous raconteur. As a family we have…
Dear Mary: I had £300 stolen while at a friend’s house. Should I tell them?
Q. Following a small dinner last night in a private house, I got home to find £300 missing from my…
Dear Mary: I can’t put names to faces – and it’s starting to upset friends
Q. I am in my mid-sixties and have started to suffer from nominal aphasia. At a recent wedding in the…
Dear Mary: How can I weed out the party ‘flakes’?
Q. I invited four younger colleagues, all in their mid to late thirties, to go for a meal at a…
Dear Mary: How do we evict a narcissistic flatmate without starting World War III?
Q. I live in a houseshare with two other people; one of whom I am very fond of and the…
Dear Mary: What do I say when people want to visit my family’s stately home for free?
Q. My husband and I were among the first to arrive at a recent large house party in Scotland. We…
How should you deal with a competitive best friend?
Q. Good friends, who moved away from our city suburb a couple of years ago, retain a pied-à-terre the better…
Dear Mary: Help! My husband won’t wash his hands after going to the loo
Q. My husband doesn’t wash his hands after spending a penny and he doesn’t wash his hands after ‘spending tuppence’,…
Dear Mary: How can we make an ungrateful relative acknowledge a £500 cheque?
Q. My wife’s much younger sister is lazy and impossible. She forgets birthdays, is invariably late, lets people down and…
Dear Mary: My friend always has food around his mouth. How can I help him?
Q. A dear friend of my husband, a shy bachelor, is an acquired taste. Once you acquire it you are…
Dear Mary: How do you deal with a monologuing fellow guest on board a yacht?
Q. A long-standing friend has an admirer of some means. He has invited her to borrow his fully staffed and…
Dear Mary: How does a Wimbledon ball girl deal with a disgusting player?
Q. I’ve accepted an invitation to stay in a small house party in France. My host hasn’t mentioned who else…
Dear Mary: How can I stop a controversial columnist from being sacked?
Q. A close friend is an elderly writer who has contributed, as a monthly columnist, to the same publication for…
Dear Mary: I’m a freelancer – how do I get people to return my calls?
Q. Being professionals in trade, we find ourselves increasingly being asked by friends, who could well afford to use our…
Dear Mary: What is the correct form when you find someone hiding from you in a cupboard?
Q. Is there a tactful way to ask people with whom you’ve been interacting on an almost daily basis over…