Dear Mary
Dear Mary: Is it vulgar to give money as a wedding gift?
Q. I work at a desk by a window which looks out on to the street where I live. I…
Dear Mary: As best man, can I seduce the groom’s sister?
Q. We often take friends to what my husband calls a ‘poncey’ pub which has won numerous awards and where…
Dear Mary: How can I explain the cushion I must take everywhere to sit on?
Q. I have incurable, inoperable back pain that severely hinders my ability to sit and necessitates my taking a cushion…
Dear Mary: How can I pin down flakey party-goers?
Q. My 50th birthday is looming and I am hosting a small dinner in a restaurant. This has proved challenging…
Dear Mary: A work colleague has a brain tumour — and his self pity is annoying me
Q. When buying a present for a friend, I would not dream of glugging from the bottle or helping myself…
Dear Mary: My new boyfriend is too short. Can I make him wear shoe lifts?
Q. An acquaintance, whom I admire but don’t know well, sent me a ‘begging’ letter to donate to a charity…
Dear Mary: At a smart dinner party, is it wrong to ask for the wifi code?
Q. My husband and I are excited to have been invited to dinner by our most important neighbour. However our…
Dear Mary: our son’s future in-laws want to play social oneupmanship with us
Q. We were about to send off to the printers the invitation for our son’s wedding (we agreed to do…
Dear Mary: How do we deal with our host’s sudden, terrifying rages?
Q. Along with five of my favourite people, I’ve been invited again to what should be an idyllic house party…
Dear Mary: How to get out of a neighbours’ dinner party invite?
Q. A couple who live directly opposite us in London have sent a save-the-date notice for a big party they…
Dear Mary: How can I tell a friend her mole is disgusting?
Q. Recently, during a stay in a luxurious mountain hotel in Italy, and having hurt my knee skiing, I was…
How can I avoid power handshakes? They hurt my fragile knuckles
Q. How does one avoid power handshakes? Twenty-five years of wicket-keeping have left me with pathetically fragile knuckles, and each…
Dear Mary: My daughter’s new boyfriend isn’t on Facebook – how do I snoop?
Q. Recently I held a party at which some people were meeting each other for the first time. One social-climbing…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my landlords they’ve ruined my life?
Q. For some time I have been spoiled by paying a small rent for a central flat belonging to absentee…
Dear Mary: how can we dissuade friends from visiting when one of us is ill?
Q. Obviously one is delighted to have visits from close friends and family when one’s spouse is ailing, but how…
Dear Mary: How can we get our star friend along to dinner when he’s so busy?
Q. We want to invite a rather exceptional friend to dinner. He lives nearby but he has a top job…
Dear Mary: What do you do when your secretary accuses you of not making a pass?
Q. I am at the age where parts of the body start to go wrong, and I have a minor…
Dear Mary: I keep needing the loo during formal dinner parties – help!
Q. My wife and I have been invited to a small but formal dinner in the presence of some impressive…
Dear Mary: how do you deal with a daughter who has gone vegan to get attention?
Q. Several friends have reached an age and wealth that means they take unreasonably long holidays or even entire gap…
Mary solves your problems: How can I get over my smartphone separation anxiety?
Q. I will be 80 in March and all my friends will expect to be asked to the celebration. My…
Mary solves your problem: Is it cultural appropriation for an English person to attend a Burns supper?
Q. Should the lady or the gentleman have the banquette in a restaurant? I’ve been brought up to believe that…
Mary solves your problems: A secret school scrapbook discovered by the housemaster
Q. At my son’s school the boys keep a clandestine leatherbound book known as ‘The Bible’, a sort of Rogues…
Dear Mary solves problems for Vince Cable, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Lord Archer and Ruth Davidson
From Sir Vince Cable MP Q. I have an unfulfilled ambition to win a national title for ballroom dancing in…
Mary solves your problems: What do you say when a screaming child is ruining your lunch?
Q. My wife and I were having lunch in our local bistro. A boy of about two was wandering around…
Mary solves your problems: what’s the right response to a request for no presents?
Q. We have reached the age when we are receiving invitations from our friends for Golden Wedding celebrations. All the…
