Dear Mary
Dear Mary: Should I give weekend guests paper napkins or napkin rings?
Q. I have a hatred of paper napkins – eating outside, they blow away; inside, people drop them on the…
Dear Mary: How do I curb my brother’s unsavoury language?
Q. My brother, who lives in southern France, uses unsavoury words to gain my attention, such as ‘infernal swine’, ‘schweinhund’…
Dear Mary: how can I snoop on my neighbour’s house?
Q. I am at the stage of my life where I am often sending presents to newborn babies. These presents…
Dear Mary: Why aren’t I getting more Instagram ‘likes’?
Q. As a novice user of Instagram I was flattered at how quickly I gathered followers – 200 already. Many…
Dear Mary: How do I get out of a friend’s bad birthday party?
Q. I shall be spending more time in the company of newer acquaintances in the West Country and would appreciate…
Dear Mary: is it OK for guests to steal pears at Glyndebourne?
Q. We have been invited to a small but formal dinner in the presence of someone who has been a…
Dear Mary: How do I confront my husband without telling him I hacked his emails?
Q. The Queen had the knack of making you feel that you were the only person in the room. At…
Dear Mary: How do I get my friends to leave after a dinner party?
Q. We have made available our mews cottage – 30 yards from our main house – to a woman with…
Dear Mary: Was I wrong to tell my friend’s boyfriend he was snoring?
Q. I have had an email inviting me to an old girls’ reunion, class of 1976. The organiser suggested we…
Dear Mary: How can I find out whether old friends fancy each other?
Q. How can I find out, without making things awkward, whether one of my close male friends fancies one of…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my husband overeating?
Q. Some older American friends take me and my husband out to dinner once a year when they are over…
Dear Mary: Can I ask our hosts to look for my husband’s tooth in the flowerbed?
Q. My 74-year-old husband was having drinks in the garden of some young clients when he bit down on an…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbours I’m too busy to stop for a chat?
Q. My parents are abroad for two months and as my flatmates in London are all, like me, working from…
Dear Mary: How do I stop a mutual friend giving my contact details to a man I don’t like?
Q. Everyone was divine at a very jolly lunch I attended in the Cotswolds with the exception of one person,…
Dear Mary: How do we say no to a neighbour who wants to use our pool?
Q. I was billeted for a party in Norfolk with a couple previously unknown to me. They were more than…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid getting waylaid at a packed party?
Q. I have found parties frustrating this month because they have been too crowded. Is there a polite way to…
Dear Mary: How do I get my cleaner to put everything back in its proper place?
Q. This year once again my company took a small group of clients to lunch at Royal Ascot. Our guests…
Dear Mary: How do I get a party invitation from the friend who thinks I snubbed him?
Q. I have heard news of a forthcoming party which I would really love to attend. The problem is that…
Dear Mary: Must I call my new partner my ‘boyfriend’ when we’re in our seventies?
Q. My girlfriend and I have started using a personal trainer for some joint sessions at our local gym; the…
Dear Mary: my pool guests are outstaying their welcome
Q. A close friend, who has lost most of her income in recent years, has done something disfiguring to a…
Dear Mary: how can we get a neighbour to acknowledge our kind deed?
Q. As a mildly famous professional cook, I agreed to judge a children’s cake-baking competition at the summer fête of…
