Dear Mary
Dear Mary: how can I get out of a Christmas party?
Q. I belong to a fairly intimate private club which is the one reliable oasis of calm and civility that…
Dear Mary: how do I stop guests sitting on my newly plumped sofas?
Q. We have recently installed security cameras in our remote holiday house in the south of France and I was…
Dear Mary: how can I learn to cope with my husband’s mess?
Q. My husband has fallen in love with ‘the country’ and retired to Exmoor while I maintain a presence in…
Dear Mary: How do I politely avoid going to a memorial service?
Q. I will shortly be attending a major social gathering in London at which I can look forward to seeing…
Dear Mary: How do I get my masseuse to stop talking?
Q. Our two daughters often bring friends down for the weekend. These friends are more than welcome; we enjoy their…
Dear Mary: How do I stop a dinner guest double-dipping?
Q. During lockdown I made good friends with a neighbour who I would never have met otherwise. This man lives…
Dear Mary: should I have asked out my rush-hour crush?
Q. On a train journey the other day I sat opposite someone I found immensely attractive. We struck up a…
Dear Mary: Should I pay to charge my electric car at a friend’s house?
Q. An acquaintance suggested organising a celebratory dinner in honour of some mutual friends. He asked my husband and me,…
Dear Mary: How do I get rid of my terrible cleaner?
Q. I have recently become a widow. Since my son is away at university, I had the idea of charging…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my grey-haired friend giving away my true age?
Q. I never lie about my age but I try not to think — or talk — about it. Now…
Dear Mary: how can I improve a friend’s appalling table manners?
Q. I recently attended a wedding which was (for me) quite ‘grand’, with a church ceremony followed by a reception.…
Dear Mary: How should my granddaughter deal with her date’s body odour?
Q. My granddaughter Jane has been asked on a date to the Wolseley by George (both pseudonyms). Although she finds…
Dear Mary: How do we get our friends to pay for the carpet they ruined?
Q. We have had some rather rich Argentines to stay. No one was able to come in to help before…
Dear Mary: how can I matchmake two dinner guests?
Q. What is the best seating plan when you have a supper party where you are hoping to matchmake two…
Dear Mary: how do I stop my fat friends breaking my chairs?
Q. We have two very longstanding and generous-hearted (female) friends. Both have always been overweight, but since Covid they have…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband repeating himself?
Q. A very old friend has rented a holiday house and invited my husband and me to stay. The property…
Dear Mary: How do we tell our interior designer relative we don’t want her doing up our house?
Q. I’ve just completed a six-month paid internship for a hedge fund manager. I was mostly in his private office…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of greeting a friend who is engaged in a ceremonial display?
Q. Passing Buckingham Palace in a taxi the other day, I saw the ceremonial wing of the Household Division prancing…
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends asking to stay in my holiday cottage?
Q. My beloved wife has been studying Chinese metaphysics for 18 months. Our house and garden have been badly neglected…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid hugging at a funeral?
Q. I have been double-vaccinated but am especially at risk and, since I know of at least four double-vaccinated people…
Dear Mary: How do I get my neighbours to tidy their front gardens?
Q. I live in a row of town houses with a communal strip of garden in front. Three of the…
Dear Mary: When is it acceptable to make a French exit?
Q. The other night, while hosting a house party, I was one of only three people still chatting by the…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our friends’ dogs wrecking our house?
Q. We have old friends who live in the northern hinterlands and have a property in Provence where they normally…
Dear Mary: Has lockdown de-civilised my husband?
Q. Last night I went to dinner with people I had never met before. Because the host was a friend…
Dear Mary: How can we avoid getting stuck with a useless cleaner?
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