Dear Mary
Dear Mary: How do we tell our friend that her hairstyle doesn’t suit her?
Q. At a lunch party, I was getting on so well with someone I had not met before. She knew…
Dear Mary: should we exclude our friend for not having had his Covid vaccine?
Q. Once restrictions are lifted, our annual walking group has planned a week’s walk with after-walk gatherings in a different…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette around gifts for virtual weddings?
Q. We have been invited to a virtual wedding. Is it correct form to send a present?— P.F., Barrow Street,…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my fiancee that she eats with her mouth open?
Q. I’ve recently been approached by a very good friend who — with genuinely admirable candour and tact — pointed…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with colleagues’ bad habits now I’m back in the office?
Q. I am placed in a social dilemma due to a proposed visit on the last weekend of June by…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my sister-in-law pinching food off my plate?
Q. Since the relaxation of lockdown, my brother and his wife have started coming to our garden for takeaway meals.…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of loo-flushing for overnight guests?
Q. My husband and I have started receiving invitations to large summer events scheduled for after 21 June. We have…
Dear Mary: How can we use our neighbour’s tennis court without inviting him to play?
Q. Our neighbours have a tennis court which, under the property’s previous owner, we enjoyed playing men’s fours on. The…
Dear Mary: How do I reject a wedding invitation without causing offence?
Q. I have just been invited to a wedding where the groom will be the only person I know. Much…
Dear Mary: How do we stop chatty workmen from disturbing us?
Q. I have been working (from home) for a TV comedy production company for a year. My job is scouting…
Dear Mary: how do we deal with a neighbour who is stealing our friends?
Q. A dear friend of long-standing has a propensity to make friends of our friends — people she has first…
Dear Mary: How can I prioritise ‘first division’ friends after lockdown?
Q. Before Covid, I was staying with friends in the country every other weekend. As a single man living in…
Dear Mary: What should my wife and I do with the risque photos we took in our youth?
Q. I hesitate to bring you this problem, but I suspect it is not that uncommon. Early in our very…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbour she’s let herself go in lockdown?
Q. Recently an old acquaintance, notorious for never penning a ‘thank you’ note, emailed me telling me he was being…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our friend letting herself in to our house?
Q. Our friend lives far away, but comes to stay at her country place nearby several times a year. Some…
Dear Mary: Why is my 87-year-old mother emailing me risque jokes?
Q. My mother, aged 87, has taken to forwarding me by email slightly risqué jokes. Her carer is the recipient…
Dear Mary: What should I do about my husband’s schoolboy table habits?
Q. My husband has always worked extremely hard and now does so from home — so I go to great…
Dear Mary: Is my husband’s forgetfulness about fastening his flies costing us friends?
Q. I was instrumental in finding some much-needed work for a local retired secretary/PA when I recommended her for the…
Dear Mary: How can I deter acquaintances who want to stop and chat?
Q. There is a Tube stop next door to my place of work but I now walk in each day.…
Dear Mary: How do we thank a friend when we’ve forgotten what they sent us?
Q. Following the birth of our child we were deluged with cards, gifts and money from kind family and friends.…
Dear Mary: How can we set up our single friends in lockdown?
Q. My husband and I have two single friends who we believe should be introduced. In days gone by, we…
Dear Mary: Should I rename my grandmother’s dog to avoid offense?
Your problems solved
Dear Mary, from Joanna Lumley: what should I do with my excess Christmas cards?
From Joanna Lumley Q. We receive a huge number of Christmas cards every year. When I take them all down…
Dear Mary: Should I give my postman a Christmas present?
Q. I am extremely fond of an artist friend, despite the fact that I have never liked her work or…
Dear Mary: How do I stop the cleaner ‘helping’ with my jigsaw?
Q. Unlike my wife, I am tiring of Netflix. Wanting a project to occupy me during these long dark nights,…
