Life
A land of extremes
A few years ago I would have quite liked to live in America. I’m not sure now. For one thing,…
I’m off the booze. My daughter insists that I walk her down the aisle – not vice versa
The vicissitudes of getting old are linked to the mystical innocence of childhood as one daydreams the precious time away.…
Sharon's back, altered in mind as well as body
Sharon’s back. As soon as I heard, I went straight round to the house and let myself in. She was…
Must every man take spring off to give birth?
Really, I do wish people would stagger their baby-making. Absolutely every professional person whose services I have required in the…
The rich have given up their freedom
The appointment of Sajid Javid as the new Secretary of State for Culture has been much criticised on the grounds…
Own up, Twelve to Follow fans – which of you sabotaged my BMW?
Mrs Oakley takes a dim view of my using the BMW that consumed much of her savings to ferry sacks…
Bridge
Somewhere highly intellectual I read that they were bringing back the Generation Game, recalling, in all their excruciating mundanity, Brucie’s…
Vengeance is mine
The history of the world chess championship includes five title matches where the challenger was the former champion, seeking his…
No. 312
White to play. This is from Botvinnik-Smyslov, World Championship (Game 2) 1958. White’s next was a clever way to win…
I’m a non-believer
In Competition No. 2845 you were invited to provide a hymn for atheists. This excellent, and topical, competition was suggested…
2160: 18 Down
Six unclued lights are 18 Down from the same source (five are entitled to appear; the sixth appears regularly). Six…
To 2157: Song X
If the grid were a TIMEPIECE (13/12), the six perimetric words (GRANITE, LIMESTONE, SERPENTINE, GREYWACKE, DALRADIAN and HORNFELS) might collectively…
The only way to survive as a cyclist is to behave like you're suicidal
The only way to survive as a London cyclist is to behave like a complete nutter
Battle for Britain
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What’s right with Saracens — and José Mourinho’s Chelsea
It’s hard to love Saracens rugby club — their centre is called Bosch, a word that also describes their bulldozing…
Dear Mary: Help! Wet wipes keep blocking the drains at our caravan park
Q. My sister and I own a popular caravan park which, for 30 years, has given happiness to around a…
After visiting the Cherwell Boathouse, I might spare Oxford from burning
It is now two decades since I lived in Oxford. I was then a drunk and lonely puddle of a…
Why –y? The evolution of a suffix
Hitler was ‘dark, shouty, moustachioed’ in Churchill’s eyes, or rather, that was Jonathan Rose’s view of how Churchill saw Hitler,…
Oxford blues
It is now two decades since I lived in Oxford. I was then a drunk and lonely puddle of a…
What’s right with Saracens– and José’s Chelsea
It’s hard to love Saracens rugby club — their centre is called Bosch, a word that also describes their bulldozing…
Settling up
Mrs Oakley takes a dim view of my using the BMW that consumed much of her savings to ferry sacks…
The death of three young people I knew
New York The poet was right: April is the cruellest month. We at The Spectator lost Clarissa Tan, my good…
My VIP drive around Rajasthan
Two years ago, roughly, for a travel piece, I flew to Delhi and took a southbound train to a dusty…
Like a Volvo, I start predicting disaster long before it happens
The mechanic hooked the Volvo up to his special laptop. He had kindly offered to come to me in order…
As a nation of voyeurs, we don’t cook but watch TV cookery programmes instead
When I got married 50 years ago, my wife and I had somehow acquired a little cookery book called Cooking…
