Real life
The police give Melissa Kite short shrift
Walking the spaniel on Tooting Common, I was apprehended by a man on a bike. He was ashen-faced. His young…
Melissa Kite: I am thinking of copyrighting My Builder Boyfriend
The Builder Boyfriend has nearly moved in. I say nearly because we are both quite nervous about committing to each…
Melissa Kite: My horse show shame
‘Congratulations! You’ve qualified for The Sunshine Tour!’ beamed the lady judge, as she pinned a rosette to my horse’s bridle.…
Melissa Kite: hands off my single occupancy discount, Lambeth Council
Some call me paranoid, but I don’t think one can be suspicious enough when it comes to the activities of…
Melissa Kite: Warning. I gallop
What is the point of living in a free country if you cannot do dangerous things every now and again?…
Melissa Kite: Spare me from successful neighbours
At last. I’ve waited a long time for this moment. I’ve been through years of torture at the hands of…
Melissa Kite was the most unpopular girl in her school
If you are bullied at school, you see, you never stop feeling bullied, no matter how old you are. It…
Melissa Kite meets the Greek dog lady on Tooting Common and has words
My spaniel has been pronounced ‘too thin’ by a lady who rescues dogs from Greece. I had stopped to chat…
Melissa Kite is punished for ignoring the Madonna of the sea
‘Benvenuti alla Small Cluster Band!’ And about time, too. We had been sitting in the Castello in Castellabate for half…
Will Melissa Kite’s former Italian waiter boyfriend stir up trouble again?
‘Piccolo problemo.’ Luigi, the hotel manager, delivered the fateful news as he served me my first lemon soda of the…
Melissa Kite: I can turn a picnic into a panic attack
You know you’re in bad shape when you need to make a list before you go to the GP. Admittedly,…
Real life: ‘I am going to sit here until you issue me with my warranty papers’
This is the story of the amazing, disappearing car warranty. It is a cautionary tale that all second-hand car buyers…
Real life: My handsome builder ex-boyfriend shows me how to buy a car
The sometime builder boyfriend spotted the Volvo on his way to a roofing job in Dorking. He rang me greatly…
