Real life
Am I being impersonated by an actor from Colorado or a mining company?
Someone else with my name is wreaking havoc with my attempts to control the Twitter account I don’t want. Obviously,…
Why I prefer to rely on natural immunity
‘Did you hear it?’ said a friend of mine, red-faced with the flush of a piece of news she couldn’t…
My battle of the bulb
The streetlighting engineer walked up and down outside my house trying to work out who was right: me, or my…
There is a new and deadly threat to the countryside
Surprise, surprise. The person who had the shield taken out of the street light so it shone back into my…
Is there such a thing as a human right to night?
The street lamp as bright as the Dog Star is back to its full glare outside my house. I won…
Just another mad night out at the local bad-food gastropub
We were enjoying our evening at the overpriced gastropub until a woman in a dark uniform appeared at our table.…
My pro-vaxxer friends are changing their tune
My pro-vaxxer friends have been a lot nicer to me since they started testing positive for Covid. I’m calling my…
Why I say no to apps
‘My phone says I can’t go out until Tuesday, so I can’t come and meet you,’ said my friend. And…
If a bloke can wear stockings and suspenders in a stable yard why can’t I?
We had gone to visit a friend at a stable yard on a country estate on a crisp autumn Sunday.…
My horse is allergic to beige carpet
The horse lorry arrived and lowered its ramp — and I stood in front of it knowing that my thoroughbred…
In defence of panic buying
The filling station on the road out of the village was like a scene from Mad Max. People were all…
In praise of bots
British Gas finally agreed to service my boiler, for no reason I could make out other than the boiler wasn’t…
Are the builder boyfriend and I falling apart?
After the landowner told us to be out in three weeks, then admitted we had three months to move our…
Our East Sussex house-hunting nightmare
The two-acre smallholding lived up to its name in being very, very small indeed. We had to squeeze around the…
Why I’m going to start speaking in acronyms
‘I’ve got COPD,’ said a friend of mine, not elaborating at all as I stared at him waiting for him…
You need to be a millionaire to move to Wales
We began searching for the farm of our dreams in Wales as we planned our escape from Surrey. The problem…
The end of an era: after 20 years we must move our horses off the farm
The letter arrived in a hand-addressed envelope, inside of which was a handwritten note. After everything we have been through,…
I’m not ill but I’m not as I was: how Covid takes its toll
If it’s true that the virus finds your weak spot, it has lodged itself like an evil monkey in my…
Why I’m thanking God, my immune system and garlic
‘Contact a GP if you’re worried about symptoms four weeks after having Covid.’ That was the NHS quote on the…
The lost dogs of Surrey
The woman pulled up in her flashy 4×4 which was meandering along the farm track in that way people have…
To be jabbed – or not to be jabbed?
The doctor’s receptionist was adamant. ‘If you had not had the vaccine you would have been even more ill with…
I enjoy making a nuisance of myself for a good cause
The scaffolding pole across the public footpath led to a farcical conversation with the local council. I had been walking…
We have incurred the wrath of the shoot boys
Since telling the shoot we won’t let them use the land we rent, we have been beset by a series…
Why I’ve gone off country sports
‘Oh, I do so love to see all the lovely pheasants running around the place,’ said the lady walking the…
The National Trust delinquents strike again
The woman sat alone and stony-faced in the passenger seat of the car as it blocked the road. She was…
