Diary
Steve Witkoff is wrong to see peace in Putin’s eyes
Kyiv ‘It doesn’t surprise me that they’re abolishing the Ministry of Education,’ my old friend Dima told me. ‘Judging by…
What Donald Trump told me about Keir Starmer
Two months into President Donald Trump’s second term, the habitual liberal hysteria about his rollercoaster presidential style is reaching shrieking…
Will I be sidelined by AI?
I’ve been head down for the past few weeks, preparing for my one-man show. The title is catchy – Nigel…
My faux pas with Washington’s most eligible bachelorette
To the Queen Anne splendour of the British ambassador’s residence in Washington for Peter Mandelson’s welcome party as our man…
The secret to a great service station
A couple of months ago, an invitation arrived. Would I like a room at the Savoy for the Baftas? I…
Have I been blacklisted by the binmen?
Monday, and Camden council have yet again failed to empty my food waste bin. They never miss my rubbish or…
Why don’t Yale students want to drink?
They say it is good to learn new skills as you get older. Well here goes. I am about to…
I feel sorry for ‘Rachel from accounts’
There’s no statute of limitations on reporting a government minister’s embarrassing oops-a-daisy. It’s no good them doing a duck-dive, hoping…
Save our cathedrals!
My beloved 1967 Gibson Les Paul Goldtop guitar is now locked away until December at the earliest. For the past…
Give David Beckham a knighthood
Donald Trump descends on Davos as if he were in Apocalypse Now. Four years ago I saw his cavalcade of…
Am I a MAGA icon?
‘Traitor!’ the woman yelled at me the instant I entered the beautifully decorated living room of a famous actress. It…
Our family is growing – and our dog is bound to be unimpressed
I am now well into my second pregnancy. Having conceived through IVF the first time, we were fortunate to have…
I’m not the only football-obsessed composer
I was in Sweden a few weeks ago, where my music was presented in Stockholm in the most recent International…
I’m a fighter, not a quitter
‘Ring out the old, ring in the new…’ This was the year I discovered that one of my ancestors had…
In Mumbai, everyone asks about Rishi and Boris
Mumbai is my kind of town, a party town. In my first weeks living here, I was out most nights…
The Westminster Wag to watch
Surely charity is about helping others, not massaging your own ego? Ed Sheeran’s boycott of Band Aid is yet another example of…
Get ready for Elon Musk’s sex robots
My old mucker Donald Trump’s return to the White House has predictably sent the woke brigade into hysteria. From posting…
Nigel told me he’s the new Boris
Last week I arrived in London from the Cotswolds just in time to witness the collective meltdown from everyone around…
The night I was turned away from the Ivy
How the mighty can fall. I was overwhelmed by the approbation I had received for my one-woman show, Behind the…
My bid to be chancellor of Oxford
I have spent the past couple of weeks in Oxford rediscovering the art of conversation while campaigning for election as…
The OnlyFans model, the milkshake and me
What better start to a Monday than to attend Westminster Magistrates’ Court? I was there for the trial of the…
My problem with the American election
In an ideal world, I wouldn’t have chosen an election year for my American book tour. It’s not that I…
My plans for The Spectator
Shortly after Boris Johnson was selected as the Conservative candidate for Henley, he invited me to lunch at The Spectator.…
The magic of The Spectator
Not since South Park Elementary’s election campaign between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich has an election bedevilled me…
The best podcasts to fall asleep to
‘Yous!’ a train cleaner in rubber gloves says as we arrive at Liverpool Lime Street. ‘What are yous doing here?’…
