Barry

4 April 2015 9:00 am

‘I’ve left the children to their own devices.’

Children

4 April 2015 9:00 am

‘I unwrapped the packaging and it was empty.’

Easter egg

4 April 2015 9:00 am

‘In the old days he used to talk to me.’

Spider letter

4 April 2015 9:00 am

Fish

4 April 2015 9:00 am

‘It’s about this normally sized boy at a school full of weirdly thin people.’

Bunter

4 April 2015 9:00 am

‘It’s the latest must-nick phone.’

Phone

4 April 2015 9:00 am

‘Kids today don’t know the meaning of the word “serene”.’

Serene

4 April 2015 9:00 am

‘I’m old money.’

Begging

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Open sesame

28 March 2015 9:00 am

‘Were you looking for sun and relaxation or just killing people?’

Travel agent

28 March 2015 9:00 am

‘I don’t care if you did misread the sign — this is not a hula-hooping toilet!’

Hulahoop

28 March 2015 9:00 am

‘You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone.’

Phone

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Tat

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Excalibore

Bore

28 March 2015 9:00 am

‘Poor granny — technology has completely passed her by.’

Granny

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Greek

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Mob

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Witch

28 March 2015 9:00 am

MP

28 March 2015 9:00 am

‘How are you getting on with your new 3D printer, dear?’

3d

28 March 2015 9:00 am

‘We wanted them to have contemporary names — this is Omg and Lol.’

OMG

28 March 2015 9:00 am

‘I had a feeling it might be a silly idea to put a climbing wall in the exercise yard.’

Wall

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Devil

28 March 2015 9:00 am

Bore

28 March 2015 9:00 am