‘We want to settle down and have a housing crisis together.’

Housing

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Miro, Miro on the wall, who is the wealthiest one of all?’

Miro

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Train

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘As the plane took off, the transplant surgeon opened the ice box and realised that he’d left his heart in San Francisco.’

Heart

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘I know it’s tempting but can you please stop popping the damn stuff while you’re making it.’

Wrap

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘OK, but for identification purposes a trench coat and rolled-up copy of the Times would have been preferable.’

Id

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s fusion food — they mix cheap ingredients with sky-high prices.’

Fusion

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Makes you realise just how small and insignificant you are, doesn’t it?’

Insignificant

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Ah, that new baby smell — I’ve got some Chanel No. 5 here that can sort that out.’

Smell

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘He’s a regular.’

Regular

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘He soon tired of the porn. Now he watches property prices going through the roof.’

Prices

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Pool

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Gram

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Grave

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Gravestone

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘It must be halal meat — it’s disagreeing with me.’

Halal

17 May 2014 9:00 am

Paranoia

17 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Bad news – there’s a 75 per cent tax on national treasure.’

Barlow

17 May 2014 9:00 am

‘You do the meth.’

Coop

17 May 2014 9:00 am

Forks

17 May 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s amazing what she can do with striped toothpaste.’

Art

17 May 2014 9:00 am

Ukip

17 May 2014 9:00 am

‘OK, guys… now what do we do?’

Wolf

17 May 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s one of his five a day.’

Nhs

17 May 2014 9:00 am

‘ID?’

Sheep

17 May 2014 9:00 am