Phone

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I never realised a pet peeve was an actual animal.’

Peeve

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘The cull’s been a disaster.’

Badgers

8 March 2014 9:00 am

Reception

8 March 2014 9:00 am

‘My phone’s been fracked.’

Frack

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Was it something he said?’

Ventriloquist

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Kafka

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Mermaids

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s a Ukrainian doll — it breaks up into increasingly small, angry factions.’

Ukranian

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s a robbery, sarge, but be careful, they’re armed.’

Venus

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Hospital

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Bloody Impressionist paparazzi.’

Paparazzi

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Bears

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Well, I’d like to join in the benefits debate, but I’ve got to go to work.’

Benefits

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It appears that our mother is too posh to push.’

Posh

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Feet

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘And the fourth little pig, he built his house from glass and steel, left it vacant and waited for values to soar.’

Piggy

1 March 2014 9:00 am

Closet racist

Closet

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Is my phone line secure? Yes, it’s got little cable ties and everything’

Mi5

1 March 2014 9:00 am

God

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘The usual, Sir?’

Vampire

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I don’t have a vote — I’m an American tourist.’

Referendum

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask.’

Coop

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘Fiona, we’ve got a Cheshire mouse.’

Mouse

22 February 2014 9:00 am

Weather

22 February 2014 9:00 am