Stalking

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘In these straitened times, our shareholders need more money.’

Shareholder

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘Want to switch energy suppliers?’

Energy

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘Where is everyone? It’s like the Marie Celeste in here.’

Celeste

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘I can’t see us ever having a boring housebuying anecdote of our own.’

Houseprices

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘It’s the director’s cut.’

Cut

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘It’s not Kafkaesque, it’s normal.’

Kafka

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘Could that be from his blue period?’

Blue

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘It’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you...’

Fish

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘We are very happy with the Chinese-themed room but could you remove the panda, please.’

Panda

16 November 2013 9:00 am

Ebay

16 November 2013 9:00 am

Mexico

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘Instant? Certainly, madam. Take a seat and someone will be with you in a minute.’

Instant

16 November 2013 9:00 am

‘Look, sir! Tesco are doing buy one get one free!’

Mod

9 November 2013 9:00 am

‘You have the right to post one extremely abusive and threatening message on a social networking site of your own choice.’

Custody

9 November 2013 9:00 am

Evolution

9 November 2013 9:00 am

‘Is this the pleb gate?’

Pleb

9 November 2013 9:00 am

Dalek

9 November 2013 9:00 am

‘We don’t know where he’s gone.’

Tagging

9 November 2013 9:00 am

‘You know, I’m beginning to think the dog doesn’t like being locked up in here while we’re at work all day.’

Dog

9 November 2013 9:00 am

Bias

9 November 2013 9:00 am

‘He just sits around all day creating initiatives to reduce obesity.’

Obesity

9 November 2013 9:00 am

‘You would tell me if you weren’t happy, wouldn’t you?’

Happy

9 November 2013 9:00 am

‘Not a chance this week — try again in a fortnight.’

Receptionist

9 November 2013 9:00 am

Nil

9 November 2013 9:00 am