‘Amazon would have delivered your sermon a lot quicker.’

Sermon

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Must you do your make-up on the Tube?’

Clown

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘All you do is binge watch.’

Watch

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘There’s a Novichokolate on the pillow.’

KGB

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Don’t feed the Lib Dems – it just encourages them.’

Rock

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Hush, hush, lower your tone,Christopher Robin is checking his phone.’

Christopher Robin

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘We need to drive normal people out of politics.’

Politics

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

Torture

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘There’s a 12.5 per cent surcharge for American tourists.’

Great wall

20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘The following drama contains a dissatisfying ending that cynically leaves the door open for a second series.’

Drama

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘And this is the “Dorothy”. Ideal for poems, short stories and acidic reviews.’

Pens

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘It looks like you’re having an alcohol-free day.’

Alcohol-free

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘At least it isn’t called All The President’s Women.’

Bob Woodward

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘It’s a “kinder, gentler” anti-Semitism.’

Racism

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Do you believe there’s life after Brexit?’

Life after Brexit

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘We’ve just weaned her onto taking photos of solid food.’

Dinner

13 September 2018 1:00 pm

Back to school

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Oh dear, I appear to have strayed into a rough neighbourhood.’

Web

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Seriously babe — I have my own island!’

Message

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘He’s on the artistic spectrum.’

Artistic

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

Salmond

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Congratulations and welcome to our internship scheme.’

Scheme

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘What did you do in the Scallop War, Daddy?’

Shell

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

Plastic

6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘With all these sex pests about, I’m not taking any chances.’

Sex pest

6 September 2018 1:00 pm