‘OK, are you ready? I’m going to switch on the news.’

Radio Grizelda

22 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘It’s scary how the young have been affected by Jeremy Corbyn.’

Affected

22 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘That racket is the dawn chorus.’

Tent Wood

22 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘So for the backpackers and gap-year students I’ve devised new, comforting Zen Lite.’

Zen

22 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘They say do you mind going round the block a few thousand times? They’re still working on it.’

Car RGJ

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Sorry I’m late.’

Butterfly GG

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Darling, they’re playing our ringtone!’

Darling

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘You’ll have to subscribe to hear the rest of his sentence.’

Subscribe Grizelda

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Just how many lives does Michael Gove have?’

Cat Newman

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘You’re not by any chance related to George Osborne?’

Smile Wood

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I don’t care what her name is — why can’t you do something useful like invent a wheel?’

Caveman Turner

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I’ve never been to a conversion to Corbynism ceremony before.’

Witch Grizelda

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I don’t fancy being stuck in the jungle with Paul Nuttall!’

Jungle Newman

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘What climate change?’

King Thompson

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘The general or the infirmary? I’m easy either way.’

Ambulance Dredge

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Take you to my leader? OK, but we’d better be quick.’

Alien Thompson

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Quick! To the batgrave!’

RIP Bernie

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Feeling cheap, used and empty usually means the detox has worked.’

Tea

15 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘It’s set in a utopian future.’

TV Bernie

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Apparently no two snowflakes are the same.’

Snowflake Thompson

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘I’d prefer a bed.’

Hospital

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘Of course they’re pink! I’m an albino!

Peacocks

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

Faux Bernie

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘We’d like to spend more time embarrassing our children.’

Retirement Grizelda

8 June 2017 1:00 pm

‘No, I said it was a Michelin tyre restaurant.’

Bistro NAF

8 June 2017 1:00 pm