‘Actually the view’s pretty ghastly, so we had these iPads installed.’

Country house

16 April 2016 9:00 am

‘I’ve got a leg wax booked for two o’clock.’

Legwax

16 April 2016 9:00 am

‘Could you take a few minutes to fill in a satisfaction survey?’

Survey

16 April 2016 9:00 am

Wine

16 April 2016 9:00 am

‘Oh look, an offshore tax haven.’

Boat

16 April 2016 9:00 am

‘I believe our MPs should be more transparent.’

Poll

16 April 2016 9:00 am

‘You have to go on the internet to find out whodunit.’

Bookshop

16 April 2016 9:00 am

‘That is not a “soggy bottom”. That is a “derrière humide”.’

Bake off

9 April 2016 9:00 am

‘If that’s an EU pollster, tell them I’m “out”.’

Door

9 April 2016 9:00 am

‘He was stabbed trying to turn off The Archers.’

Police

9 April 2016 9:00 am

The man who didn’t have a tax haven and paid all his tax demands in the UK

Tax

9 April 2016 9:00 am

Restaurant

9 April 2016 9:00 am

Panama hat

Hat

9 April 2016 9:00 am

‘I really think that if we’re going to make this work it will need your full attention.’

Relate

9 April 2016 9:00 am

Nice

9 April 2016 9:00 am

Phone

9 April 2016 9:00 am

‘You spoil that cat.’

Cat

9 April 2016 9:00 am

Stork

9 April 2016 9:00 am

Art

9 April 2016 9:00 am

Jihadis

9 April 2016 9:00 am

‘Hello, FBI, can you unlock my daughter’s mind?’

Mother

9 April 2016 9:00 am

‘This is where people have to go if they forget to upgrade their Kindles.’

Library

2 April 2016 9:00 am

Cafe

2 April 2016 9:00 am

April

2 April 2016 9:00 am

‘Screw your porch lantern – I’m headed for the big city lights!’

Lantern

2 April 2016 9:00 am