‘You are 27,345,004th in the queue, please hold.’

Angel

23 January 2016 9:00 am

Problem

23 January 2016 9:00 am

Backhander

23 January 2016 9:00 am

‘...his wife would eat no lean, no dairy, no grains, no wheat, no gluten, no soya, no lactose, no refined sugar, no nuts, no yeast, no...’

Sprat

23 January 2016 9:00 am

‘When you’ve finished your colouring-in would you mind resuming the parental role?’

Colouring

23 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Don’t you hate it when a siren goes off next door and there’s nothing you can do about it?’

Mermaid

23 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Bit of an anomaly. I’ve just been told there’s no accounting for taste.’

Taste

23 January 2016 9:00 am

‘We aren’t drinking anywhere near enough for our age!’

Drink

16 January 2016 9:00 am

Dracula

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘You any idea where they keep the art in this place, Geoff?’

Tate

16 January 2016 9:00 am

Youth

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Sorry, retinal screening is next week.’

Screening

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Honestly, some of the nonsense they expect you to fall for!’‘Honestly, some of the nonsense they expect you to fall for!’

Nonsense

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘I remember when all this was skyline.’

Skyline

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘And now Glenn Miller’s Not In The Mood.’

Miller

16 January 2016 9:00 am

Drone

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘I’m on strike so a locum will have to make my mistakes for me.’

Locum

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘This duck’s a bit rubbery.’

Duck

16 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Well, I say thank God for plastic bags!’

Bags

9 January 2016 9:00 am

Baabaa

9 January 2016 9:00 am

‘And that’s why he wants to blow up buildings...’

Bouncy

9 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Jonathan loves Nordic crime drama so much he’s decided to become a serial killer.’

Serial

9 January 2016 9:00 am

‘We’ve been sent a threatening letter!’

Puritans

9 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Apparently he’s in special operations.’

Surgeon

9 January 2016 9:00 am

‘We’ve narrowed it down to 60 million suspects.’

Police

9 January 2016 9:00 am