‘We do most of our parenting online now.’

Parenting

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘It’s your mother’

Mother

5 October 2013 9:00 am

Menagerie à trois

Menagerie

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘...and this is Mother Inferior.’

Inferior

5 October 2013 9:00 am

Pothole golf.

Pothole

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘Percy Edwards...now he could tweet.’

Percy

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘Success is just around the corner.’

Corner

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘This would have been even more romantic if we didn’t need the home-help to lift us in and out of the bath.’

Bath

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘When you said, “Do you want to come back to my place,” I thought you meant home.’

Pub

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘Modern technology is making it much too easy for children to access porn these days.’

Butler

5 October 2013 9:00 am

KevandJulia

5 October 2013 9:00 am

‘I feel so empty now the children have left.’

Dolls

28 September 2013 9:00 am

Wifi

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘That’s the wife or the mistress, I forget which.’

Photo

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘When you said you were “doing a nude”, I thought you wanted me to take my clothes off.’

Nude

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘Oh dear — that sausage I ate is about to do a U-turn.’

Clegg

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘Bring out yer Ed.’

Ed

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘It’s the latest beauty treatment — combined aromatherapy and full-body wax.’

Wax

28 September 2013 9:00 am

Bins

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘How absolutely hideous — it’ll go perfectly with those shoes I never wear.’

Hideous

28 September 2013 9:00 am

The outlaw Ned Kelly no longer got lost in the outback now that he had a satnav

Satnav

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘He was everything I was looking for in a man — which set alarm bells ringing straight away.’

Alarm

28 September 2013 9:00 am

Mumsnet

28 September 2013 9:00 am

‘The goldfish wants feeding, dear..’

Goldfish

28 September 2013 9:00 am

Insects

28 September 2013 9:00 am