‘Poor devil. Half-past eleven is far too young to die.’

Die

3 October 2015 9:00 am

‘I’d appreciate you fixing the boiler quickly. It’s quite a big deal for us not to have heat down here.’

Hell

3 October 2015 9:00 am

Market

3 October 2015 9:00 am

‘Granted, you’re very popular with the poor, but can’t you see how you’re alienating the rich?’

Robin Hood

3 October 2015 9:00 am

‘Good.’

Nasa

3 October 2015 9:00 am

Bookshop

3 October 2015 9:00 am

‘Tim treated me like a little girl, so I shopped him to the police straight away.’

Treated

26 September 2015 9:00 am

‘Oh, Pinocchio! All that fuss about becoming a real boy — and now you want to be a girl!’

Pinocchio

26 September 2015 9:00 am

‘I’m afraid Doreen and Frank are going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment.’

Rough

26 September 2015 9:00 am

‘Is everything OK? You haven’t photographed your food.’

Food

26 September 2015 9:00 am

‘Control freak.’

Freak

26 September 2015 9:00 am

Shops

26 September 2015 9:00 am

‘Hurry up, woman — the rugby’s on in five minutes!’

Tea ceremony

26 September 2015 9:00 am

Beds

26 September 2015 9:00 am

Rooftop

26 September 2015 9:00 am

Che

26 September 2015 9:00 am

‘And this little piggy went — actually, you don’t want to know.’

Baby

26 September 2015 9:00 am

Fashion

26 September 2015 9:00 am

‘Death by chocolate? Certainly, sir, coming up.’

Restaurant

26 September 2015 9:00 am

Auction

26 September 2015 9:00 am

Seventeen tablets taken at different times throughout the day. It’s great for his memory

Memory

19 September 2015 9:00 am

Club

19 September 2015 9:00 am

‘We can’t communicate with that guy, he’s an extremist nutter.’

Isis

19 September 2015 9:00 am

Advert

19 September 2015 9:00 am

‘Curse this Ikea DVD storage unit.’

Drama

19 September 2015 9:00 am