Says who?

1. David Cameron.
2. The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Revd Justin Welby.
3. Nick Clegg.
4. Prince Harry.
5. Eddie Mair (to Boris Johnson).
6. Nigel Farage, the leader of Ukip, after its good showing in council elections.
7. Vladimir Putin, at the G8 summit, on the Syrian opposition.
8. Lord Howell of Guildford, talking of fracking.
9. Ed Miliband, in his Labour conference speech.
10. Bonnie Tyler, in Britain’s Eurovision song entry, ‘Believe in me’.

Creature comforts

1. A squirrel.
2. Nawaz Sharif.
3. A walrus.
4. The camel.
5. Rabbit.
6. Phnom Penh.
7. Ecuador and Colombia.
8. A cow.
9. Noble false widow spiders.
10. Yeti.

Royal flush

1. The Princess Royal.
2. Richard III’s.
3. The Queen.
4. Lady Thatcher’s.
5. The Duke of Edinburgh.
6. Willem-Alexander.
7. Spain.
8. The Duke of York.
9. Prince George of Cambridge.
10. The Prince of Wales.

Mad world

1. Norway.
2. Iran.
3. Lady Gaga’s.
4. Flapjacks.
5. Gandhi’s.
6. Nigeria.
7. Beyoncé’s.
8. A supermarket trolley.
9. Chelsea.
10. Fenchurch Street — the car was in Eastcheap.

Projection

1. Skyfall.
2. Captain Phillips.
3. Diana.
4. P.L. Travers.
5. Alan Partridge in Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa.
6. Jim Broadbent.
7. Anthony Hopkins (in Thor: The Dark World).
8. Robert Downey Jr.
9. Leonardo DiCaprio.
10. Toro.

Pud

1. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, Chapter 2.
2. Agatha Christie, The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding, Chapter 2.
3. George Meredith, The Ordeal of Richard Feverel, Chapter 3.
4. Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass, Chapter 9.
5. Anthony Trollope, The Mistletoe Bough.
6. Henry James, English Hours.
7. George Eliot, Silas Marner, Chapter 10.
8. Benjamin Disraeli, Tancred, Chapter 60.
9. Thomas Love Peacock, Crotchet Castle, Chapter 18.
10. Wilkie Collins, Letter, 27 Dec­ember 1870.