The Spectator
15 December 2018 Aus
Christmas issue
Australia
PM’s Christmas gifts
As we settle back for the unique delights of the Aussie Christmas, placing the pressies under the Chrissy tree and…
Australian Columnists
Brown study
As Head Master of Robert Menzies Grammar, it gives me less pleasure than usual to report on the boys and…
Australian notes
Good trouble I arrive in Australia to feverish talk of a rebellion. There has been a ‘teenage revolt’. A mass…
Christmas diary
I’m embarrassed. Last night I spoke briefly at a black-tie gala dinner of the Institute of Public Affairs. I must…
Australian Features
Liberals, liberals everywhere
It is often said that England and America are divided by a common language, and you might as well throw…
The environmental impact of Creation
In the beginning God floated the idea of creating Heaven and Earth. He was immediately served with an injunction by…
The art of music
What does classical music, also known as art or serious music, do for us? The state spends vast amounts of…
Turnbullian nightmare
Don’t go into the Christmas holidays and 2019 thinking the nightmare is over. True, Malcolm Turnbull is no more, at…
Reggae, Ramsay and Beethoven
The recent news that the form of music known as Reggae is to be added to the Unesco world heritage…
Virtue versus vague values
Which is preferable: values or virtues? The question might appear overly academic and of little relevance but how it is…
Churchill, Orwell and, er, Shorten
There probably is some depth of yet-to-be imagined perfidy Malcolm Turnbull or his son, Alex, will descend to before the…
Australian books
There is the feeling that after ten years of political failures and assorted cultural nonsense the community is yearning for…
Tyranny of the T-bone
While England was in the middle of tearing itself apart during the Civil War, Oliver Cromwell and his fellow puritans…
The bishop thrown under the bus
Philip Wilson should be a hero to everyone who cares about justice. With little encouragement beyond the determination to prove…
Features
Benedict Cumberbatch on playing my husband, Dominic Cummings
Imagine looking at a photo of a stranger and feeling in response, quite naturally, the sort of happy affection you…
Take it from a cartoonist: shoes are the real windows into the soul
I spend most of my time drawing politicians, trying to work out what makes them distinctive. The eyes, the expression,…
What happens when the police stop and search a bishop?
I’m not surprised that black people are still eight times more likely than white people to be stopped and searched…
The Sajid Javid manifesto
There’s an old joke that the most dangerous position in the Tory party is the favourite for the leadership. The…
Trump’s 19ft Christmas tree and 300lb gingerbread house are quintessentially American
The most obnoxious advert on American television this Christmas season features a thirtyish man telling his wife he ‘got us…
Women, married or single, get a raw deal at Christmas
There’s a Christmas poem of mine, written in the 1980s, that ends with the line ‘And the whole business is…
Critical injuries: the perils of book reviews
A decade ago, a publisher produced a set of short biographies of Britain’s 20th-century prime ministers, which I reviewed unenthusiastically.…
The best thing about Christmas in France? It’s all over in a day
Just back from a few days in Rome — the perfect small metropolis for ‘street-haunting’, as Cyril Connolly described his…
Brexit is about renewal, not just leaving the EU. And there’s no time to waste
None of us can predict the potential fallout from Brexit, good and bad. What began as a vote of confidence…
Prue Leith’s Christmas kitchen nightmares
Christmas in our family seems to guarantee tears and tantrums as well as jingle bells and jollity. Indeed, in my…
Meet the Ever Trumpers, the apostles who will never forsake the President
Washington, DC Donald Trump derangement syndrome works both ways. It makes the President’s enemies hate him so much they go…
The unbearable pointlessness of Parliament
Christmas books pages usually invite columnists to nominate their publishing event of the year. Well, here’s a corker: The Ties…
Carlo Rovelli: In physics, the difference between past and present is extraordinarily slippery
The physicists Marc Warner and Emanuele Moscato met Professor Carlo Rovelli, author of the bestselling Seven Brief Lessons on Physics.…
Pick a painting
Alexander McCall Smith There is a painting in the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art that I find…
A life apart: An interview with Frank Field
Frank Field was given a standing ovation when he won The Spectator’s Parliamentarian of the Year award two weeks ago.…
The boy who dreams: A Christmas short story by Susan Hill
‘Wake up, boy! Wake up…’ My father was shaking me and I was confused because it seemed that I had…
Cressida Bonas: An actress’s notebook
I’m moving house, parting ways with my beloved friend Georgia. For eight years, the two of us have laughed madly,…
‘Theresa May has failed Pakistan’s Christians’: An interview with Asia Bibi’s lawyer
Saif ul-Malook greets me in the hallway of his daughter’s home. Pakistani hospitality dictates that a guest should not go…
Giving voice to despair: how a letter from John Osborne changed my life
Ihad completely forgotten about the letter. It’s not that surprising, as I’d received it in February 1981. I was 18…
The Maduro diet
I am writing from my home, Barquisimeto, the fourth largest city in Venezuela, which was, not so long ago, the…
‘Jeeves and the Midnight Mess’: A Christmas short story
‘Christmas Eve in Mayfair, Jeeves! There’s nothing in heaven to top it. Even with the terror of eleventh-hour shopping for…
After five days of being snowed in, awe and wonder starts to wear off
It took three hours for cabin fever to set in. Last Christmas, snowed in at the Oxfordshire homestead, my brother…
The Week
Britain is on the cusp of a great political and economic renewal. Will the Tories blow it?
Last Christmas, The Spectator set up an appeal — not for money to be given to charity, but for our…
Portrait of the year: from the collapse of Carillion to the sacking of John Kelly
January Four young men were stabbed to death in London as the New Year began. The Crown Prosecution Service was…
Are we really going to abandon Brexit because of a Mars bar shortage?
The nice French doctor looked beadily at the screen. There were the results of my tests, in irrefutable detail. They…
The many political crises that have interrupted Christmas
Crisis at Christmas MPs were warned that they might have to give up part of their holidays to deal with…
What would Jesus’s childhood have been like?
Around 1 ad a 14-year-old Jewish Arab girl called Maryam, almost certainly in Nazareth in Galilee, gave birth to a…
From the archive: the Spectator’s original verdicts on literary classics
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, reviewed 18 December 1847 An attempt to give novelty and interest to fiction, by resorting…
Letters: perhaps Brussels sprouts are ripe for a name change?
Life in the borderlands Sir: The Irish border question has grabbed political headlines this year, but spare a thought for…
Columnists
Brexit is a fight for the very sovereignty of our nation
Who should govern Britain? This has always been the most contentious question in British politics. Magna Carta, the Reformation, the…
When it comes to champagne, the English are on the French’s coattails
Earlier this month, the Quorn and Cottesmore hunts took separate votes on merging. The Quorn voted for, the Cottesmore against.…
Dear Santa: My 14 requests for the new year
It is always a pleasure to watch Paris burning. On the surface a civilised country, but scrape a little deeper…
Should we all write ‘feminist’ stocking fillers?
I arrived at Waterloo, half an hour before my train departed. Needing to buy a birthday card, I popped into…
You can’t possibly hate cyclists more than they hate each other
I’ve cycled for primary transportation for 53 years. Accordingly, I’m not naive about the degree of resentment — nay, loathing…
Why I don’t, never have, and never will trust the people
It was late, and a friend and I were left to talk Brexit. He’s a keen and convinced Tory Brexiteer…
Life is about so much more than Theresa May’s crappy Brexit deal
It’s that time of year again when I put aside my wonted snark and share with you a few of…
All I want for Christmas is a City time machine
Are smartphones fuelling a pandemic of youthful anxiety and depression? That’s the question parents will wrestle with this Christmas as…
Books
Words to rally and inspire: stirring speeches from Elizabeth I to the present
It was a surprise, on reading Speeches of Note, to find myself laughing and chuckling at the speech of a…
The wildest Wilde of all: the scandalous life of Oscar’s father
‘To have a father is always big news,’ according to the narrator of Sebastian Barry’s early novel, The Engine of…
Dreaming of a white Christmas? Soon that’s all we’ll be able to do
I like a book where you don’t think you’re going to be interested in the subject, but then find it’s…
Will seagulls become as scary as Hitchcock’s The Birds?
Little Toller Books, in Dorset, aims to publish old and new writing on nature by the very best writers and…
The minefield of mime: ‘halt’ to an American signifies ‘hi’ to an Arab
You may have read about this during the Iraq war. A group of local people approach an American position. A…
Why didn’t they try harder to assassinate Hitler?
Awareness of German opposition to Hitler is usually limited to Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg’s attempt to blow up the wretched…
Biting political satire: China Dream, by Ma Jian, reviewed
Ma Jian’s novels have been banned in his native China for 30 years and he has been hailed as ‘China’s…
Vivien Leigh: the brilliant star that fast burned out
‘Dark Star’ is a suitable enough title in itself, but the definition makes it a brilliant one: ‘A Dark Star’,…
A Lithuanian Romeo and Juliet: Pan Tadeusz, by Adam Mickiewicz, reviewed
It’s hard, in Britain, to imagine a popular museum devoted to a single poem. The Polish city of Wrocław hosts…
Relish — and cultivate — your grievances
Grudges make the world go around, according to Sophie Hannah. They are ‘an important and fascinating part of human experience’,…
How any mother — or baby — survived childbirth before the 20th century is astonishing
Between 1300 and 1900 few things were more dangerous than giving birth. For poor and rich, the mortality rate was…
How apartheid poisoned the world
Around 1970 I was labelled ‘Public Enemy No. 1’ by white South Africa’s newspapers for leading militant anti-apartheid protests which…
High society and low gossip: the journals of Kenneth Rose
Kenneth Rose was gossip columnist by appointment to the aristocracy and gentry. He was, of course, a snob — nobody…
Stuck for something to read? Pick up a Penguin Classic
In 1956, after Penguin Classics had published 60 titles, the editor-in-chief of Penguin Books, William Emrys Williams, wondered: ‘How many…
Bitten by the cold: the strange attraction of polar exploration
‘We had seen God in his splendours, heard the text that nature renders. We had reached the naked soul of…
The pagan feast of Christmas
This book, an excellent history of Christmas, made me think of a Christmas cartoon strip I once saw in Viz…
Divulging the secret of the famous ‘King’s sound’?
Earlier this year The Spectator published an article in celebration of Evensong — the nightly sung service of the Anglican…
In praise of John Meade Falkner: poet, arms-dealer and unforgettable novelist
When H.H. Asquith, as prime minister, visited Elswick, Newcastle upon Tyne, during the first world war, he found a vast…
Arts
The fascinating story behind one of the best-loved depictions of the Nativity
In the early 1370s an elderly Scandinavian woman living in Rome had a vision of the Nativity. Her name was…
A short history of ice skating
In landscape terms, the Fens don’t have much going for them. What you can say for them, though, is that…
The people have not forgotten me: the exiled Empress of Iran interviewed
Somewhere in the bowels of the Tehran Museum of Contemporary Art is a portrait from a lost world. Its subject…
High and mighty
In this 200th anniversary of the birth of Mrs C.F. Alexander, author of ‘Once in Royal David’s City’, all of…
Gary Kemp on pop, Pre-Raphaelites, politics and playing Pinter
The first thing Gary Kemp bought when Spandau Ballet started making money was a chair. He’s very proud of that…
There’s something about Mary
So, Mary Poppins returns, and I was, of course, primed to be spiteful, as is my nature. Not a patch…
You’ll have shivers down your spine and tears in your eyes: Royal Ballet’s Nutcracker reviewed
Not another Nutcracker, I thought on the way to the Opera House. Haven’t we had our fill of Sugar Plums?…
I couldn’t wait to escape this opaque, witless horror show: True West reviewed
Sam Shepard was perhaps the gloomiest playwright ever to spill his guts into a typewriter. The popularity of his work…
Could it be that Jimmy McGovern was getting into the festive spirit? No… Care reviewed
Jimmy McGovern’s one-off drama Care (BBC1, Sunday 9 December) began with a loving grandmother called Mary having a lovely time…
Remembering the 1968 Apollo mission – when the world was reaching to the future rather than drawing in
Take yourself back to (or try to imagine) Christmas 1968; a year full of disturbances, dashed hopes and extreme violence…
It’s Christmas. You don’t want Götterdämmerung. You want a waltz-operetta
Grade: A– 1898: two Parisiennes and a housemaid secretly invite each other’s partners to the Paris Opera ball and… c’mon,…
Female statue head Villa Casali
Most of us love Rome while still being a little overwhelmed by it. The Roman Empire’s geographical spread and duration…
Life
Why I have fallen out of love with Donald Trump
Here we are, 41 years down the road, and I’m once again writing for The Spectator’s Christmas issue. This is…
Why you should never read your own diary
At the turn of the century, I started a diary. I’ve mostly typed it on old typewriters, bashing out a…
How Ebenezer Grayling destroyed the Kite family Christmas
Ebenezer Grayling sat busy in his counting house. It was a cold, bleak day at the Department for Transport. Big…
Me vs an eight-foot spitting cobra
Laikipia, Kenya ‘The End,’ I typed. The book that had taken me 14 years to write. I rose from…
‘Concussion doesn’t count’: memories of a racing dynasty
The Scudamores are one of the bedrock families of jump racing. After being shot down and spending two years as…
Christmas quiz
You don’t say In 2018, who said: 1. ‘I have the absolute power to PARDON myself, but why should I…
Word of the year: shouty
‘Remind me what incel means again,’ said my husband. There was no point, since he’d forgotten twice already. I suspected…
Puzzle
White to play. This is a variation from Carlsen-Caruana, World Championship (Game 11), London 2018. Carlsen set a small trap…
O come let us adore zhim
In Competition No. 3078 you were invited to submit a politically correct Christmas carol. One of Donald Trump’s election…
Christmas spirit
Unclued lights (six of two words, one of three), correctly linked, make ten members of a seasonal set, one light…
to 2386: Outside what we know
ROUND THE HORNE (32/40/37) starred 6/37, 6/23, 1A, 14 and 8/13. The title suggested their other comedy show, Beyond Our Ken.…
Why the end of 2018 is also the end of a sporting era
It may be the end of the year but it’s also the end of some major sporting eras. Alastair Cook…
How to lose more friends and alienate more people
This used to be the busiest time of the year for me. If you do anything in public life —…
This is capitalism as its most gaudy: Fortnum & Mason reviewed
I admit I had a falling out with Fortnum & Mason a few years ago over its new brasserie on…
The most underpriced Christmas gift you can buy
During the second Gulf war, simply out of curiosity, I found myself visiting the website of a giant American mercenary…
In the midst of Brexit agony, one thing remains certain: disputation needs drink
It is enough to drive a fellow to the bottle. I am not given to agnosticism. My view is that…
Problems solved for Michael Fabricant, Liz Truss, Piers Morgan, Richard Madeley, Anthony Horowitz and others
From Michael Fabricant MPQ. When I go for intimate meals at a restaurant with a friend, I am invariably asked…