Advice
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends asking to stay in my holiday cottage?
Q. My beloved wife has been studying Chinese metaphysics for 18 months. Our house and garden have been badly neglected…
Dear Mary: How do I get my neighbours to tidy their front gardens?
Q. I live in a row of town houses with a communal strip of garden in front. Three of the…
Dear Mary: When is it acceptable to make a French exit?
Q. The other night, while hosting a house party, I was one of only three people still chatting by the…
Dear Mary: Has lockdown de-civilised my husband?
Q. Last night I went to dinner with people I had never met before. Because the host was a friend…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of loo-flushing for overnight guests?
Q. My husband and I have started receiving invitations to large summer events scheduled for after 21 June. We have…
Dear Mary: How do I reject a wedding invitation without causing offence?
Q. I have just been invited to a wedding where the groom will be the only person I know. Much…
Dear Mary: How do we stop chatty workmen from disturbing us?
Q. I have been working (from home) for a TV comedy production company for a year. My job is scouting…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbour she’s let herself go in lockdown?
Q. Recently an old acquaintance, notorious for never penning a ‘thank you’ note, emailed me telling me he was being…
Dear Mary: Why is my 87-year-old mother emailing me risque jokes?
Q. My mother, aged 87, has taken to forwarding me by email slightly risqué jokes. Her carer is the recipient…
Dear Mary: What should I do about my husband’s schoolboy table habits?
Q. My husband has always worked extremely hard and now does so from home — so I go to great…
Dear Mary: Is my husband’s forgetfulness about fastening his flies costing us friends?
Q. I was instrumental in finding some much-needed work for a local retired secretary/PA when I recommended her for the…
Dear Mary: How do we thank a friend when we’ve forgotten what they sent us?
Q. Following the birth of our child we were deluged with cards, gifts and money from kind family and friends.…
Dear Mary: How can we set up our single friends in lockdown?
Q. My husband and I have two single friends who we believe should be introduced. In days gone by, we…
Dear Mary, from Joanna Lumley: what should I do with my excess Christmas cards?
From Joanna Lumley Q. We receive a huge number of Christmas cards every year. When I take them all down…
Dear Mary: How do I stop the cleaner ‘helping’ with my jigsaw?
Q. Unlike my wife, I am tiring of Netflix. Wanting a project to occupy me during these long dark nights,…
Dear Mary: We’ve had to downsize our wedding – can we still ask everyone for presents?
Q. A year ago we sent out 150 save-the-date notices for our wedding this December. We are still going ahead,…
Dear Mary: How do I stop people assuming I’m a billionaire?
Q. My husband and I have spent many happy weekends in the seaside cottage of long-standing friends. Knowing how much…
Dear Mary: How can we be sure our host gives us clean sheets?
Q. Some friends persist on displaying our email addresses in large address lists when sending out round robins to all…
Dear Mary: What can I do about fellow passengers who won’t wear face masks?
Q. On my way to Devon recently I stopped for lunch with an impeccably mannered friend. He produced first crab…
Dear Mary: How can I stop predatory kisses at social gatherings?
Q. How can one politely stop predatory kissers? I am (or was) an affectionate and demonstrative person but I don’t…
Dear Mary: How can I accept a party invitation when I don’t know who’s going?
Q. I know it is rude to ask, when invited to a dinner party, ‘who else is coming?’ I assumed,…
Dear Mary: How can I foil a notorious place-swapper at my daughter’s wedding?
Q. I am arranging the seating plan for my daughter’s wedding and have a problem with one of her guests…
Dear Mary: Should I tell my friend that his expensive lunch made me ill?
Q. I see a lot of two of our grandchildren because they live in our London house. We are centrally…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette about kissing during the coronavirus scare?
Q. I am having a drinks party to celebrate the publication of my latest book. I sent out invitations (to…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my mother-in-law sitting on newspaper whenever she comes to my house?
Q. When my mother-in-law visits, she puts newspaper on a dining chair before sitting down. I’m so speechless that someone…
