Etiquette
Dear Mary: What do you do when your secretary accuses you of not making a pass?
Q. I am at the age where parts of the body start to go wrong, and I have a minor…
Dear Mary: how do you deal with a daughter who has gone vegan to get attention?
Q. Several friends have reached an age and wealth that means they take unreasonably long holidays or even entire gap…
Mary solves your problem: Is it cultural appropriation for an English person to attend a Burns supper?
Q. Should the lady or the gentleman have the banquette in a restaurant? I’ve been brought up to believe that…
Mary solves your problems: A secret school scrapbook discovered by the housemaster
Q. At my son’s school the boys keep a clandestine leatherbound book known as ‘The Bible’, a sort of Rogues…
Dear Mary solves problems for Vince Cable, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Lord Archer and Ruth Davidson
From Sir Vince Cable MP Q. I have an unfulfilled ambition to win a national title for ballroom dancing in…
Mary solves your problems: What do you say when a screaming child is ruining your lunch?
Q. My wife and I were having lunch in our local bistro. A boy of about two was wandering around…
Mary solves your problems: what’s the right response to a request for no presents?
Q. We have reached the age when we are receiving invitations from our friends for Golden Wedding celebrations. All the…
Mary answers your problems: The tactful way to get rid of a drunk guest
Q. I was recently at an informal dinner given by two dear friends, but returned home seething with rage against…
Mary solves your problems: A family friend stays over all the time – but never actually asks us out
Q. We have a family friend we don’t see nearly as much as we’d like. This is because he’s so…
Dear Mary
Q. A newish friend who has very good manners lent me a DVD of his grandfather at the Olympics. I…
Dear Mary
Q. We have moved from London into a rural area where we are preparing for the first visit of a…
Dear Mary
Q. How can I avoid becoming seen as an ‘Instagram creeper’? My well-meaning niece tells me that I’m in danger…
Dear Mary
Q. My partner and I recently had two close friends — one a Peer, the other a former Member of the…
Dear Mary
Q. Some rather flashy new neighbours of ours — I won’t mention their names as his will be familiar to…
Dear Mary
Q. I am in my seventies and my husband is in his nineties. The other night we had two couples…
Dear Mary
Q. I’m shortly to host a very large family gathering. Everyone will be related to the same ancestor, so we…
Snapping point
Our family holiday snaps used to be slides. We’d gather in the sitting room while Dad clicked through each one.…
Dear Mary
Q. Is there an etiquette regarding security gates? My wife and I were invited to dinner by new neighbours who…
Dear Mary
Q. ‘Alfred’ is a friend of 30 years’ standing who has just married for the first time. Alfred retains all…
Dear Mary: What can you do when your new neighbours stiff you on a restaurant bill?
Q. We moved recently and new neighbours invited us to join them for dinner at a nearby restaurant. I planned…
Dear Mary: Is it OK to ask to drink the wine you brought to a dinner party?
Q. What is the etiquette regarding asking to drink the wine you have brought to a dinner party? The man…
Dear Mary: why have all my friends given me scented candles?
Q. My super successful son kindly gave a birthday dinner party for me in a glamorous London club. I have never…
A puzzle for President Obama: is it really that British to queue?
The language that President Barack Obama used was evidence of skulduggery, Nigel Farage declared. ‘The UK is gonna be in…
Dear Mary: how can my friend make her husband wear his hearing aids?
Q. A friend of mine’s husband is in his nineties. They are a delightful couple but the husband has started…
Dear Mary: How can I make a conversation-stopping gaffe go away?
Q. What should a host do when a guest says something so embarrassing in front of the assembled company that…
