Etiquette
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband spying on me?
Q. My husband has developed an irksome habit whenever he goes abroad without me. We have cameras outside the house…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of tipping takeaway delivery drivers?
Q. Rory Sutherland recently wrote about high-end takeaways (Wiki Man, 19 February). In the last London lockdown, I was fortunate…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my new friend leaving me broke?
Q. Recently I started hanging out with a new friend. We are both in our twenties, single, and usually go…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my friends that napkin rings are the height of naff?
Q. Three weeks ago I banged my head on the lower branch of our near neighbours’ tree, which I couldn’t…
Dear Mary: How do I tackle the menace of strangers making mobile calls on speakerphone?
Q. As if it wasn’t bad enough to overhear one side of a conversation as it’s bellowed into a mobile…
Dear Mary: How can we avoid making friends on our cruise?
Q. My partner’s work involves him seeing and talking to people all day, every day. I booked us on to…
Dear Mary: How do we get out of doing our hosts’ cleaning?
Q. My husband and I have made friends with two distinguished, although fairly eccentric, writers whose company we thoroughly enjoy.…
Dear Mary: How can I stop unexpected visitors using my loo?
Q. I treat myself to a manicure every ten days. It’s a 30-minute appointment and the girl I use is…
Dear Mary: Do I have to display my friend’s awful painting?
Q. A long-standing artist friend, whose work now commands high prices, has sent me out of the blue a present…
Dear Mary: How can I get my cleaner to stop complaining?
Q. My cleaner is industrious and trustworthy but she doesn’t have many people to talk to and evidently looks forward…
Dear Mary, from Matt Hancock: after an eventful year, how should I get in touch with old friends?
From Lady Antonia Fraser Q. I enjoy getting readers’ letters, but there is one category I am at a loss…
Dear Mary: How do I politely avoid going to a memorial service?
Q. I will shortly be attending a major social gathering in London at which I can look forward to seeing…
Dear Mary: How do I stop a dinner guest double-dipping?
Q. During lockdown I made good friends with a neighbour who I would never have met otherwise. This man lives…
Dear Mary: Should I pay to charge my electric car at a friend’s house?
Q. An acquaintance suggested organising a celebratory dinner in honour of some mutual friends. He asked my husband and me,…
Dear Mary: How do I get rid of my terrible cleaner?
Q. I have recently become a widow. Since my son is away at university, I had the idea of charging…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my grey-haired friend giving away my true age?
Q. I never lie about my age but I try not to think — or talk — about it. Now…
Dear Mary: How do we get our friends to pay for the carpet they ruined?
Q. We have had some rather rich Argentines to stay. No one was able to come in to help before…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband repeating himself?
Q. A very old friend has rented a holiday house and invited my husband and me to stay. The property…
Why am I so angry?
Why have we become so quick to anger?
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of greeting a friend who is engaged in a ceremonial display?
Q. Passing Buckingham Palace in a taxi the other day, I saw the ceremonial wing of the Household Division prancing…
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends asking to stay in my holiday cottage?
Q. My beloved wife has been studying Chinese metaphysics for 18 months. Our house and garden have been badly neglected…
Dear Mary: How do I get my neighbours to tidy their front gardens?
Q. I live in a row of town houses with a communal strip of garden in front. Three of the…
Dear Mary: When is it acceptable to make a French exit?
Q. The other night, while hosting a house party, I was one of only three people still chatting by the…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our friends’ dogs wrecking our house?
Q. We have old friends who live in the northern hinterlands and have a property in Provence where they normally…
Dear Mary: Has lockdown de-civilised my husband?
Q. Last night I went to dinner with people I had never met before. Because the host was a friend…
