Etiquette
Dear Mary: How do I handle my lockdown guest’s lack of table manners?
Q. I am being driven to distraction by a touchy relation who has responded to the lockdown by WhatsApping me…
Dear Mary: How do I get out of bossy chain emails?
Q. Each day while working from home, I have at least one hour-long meeting via Zoom. One of my colleagues…
Dear Mary: How can I self-isolate without people bothering me on Zoom?
Q. Caught in Switzerland as the ski resort shut down around my ears, and feeling like a walking health hazard,…
Dear Mary: How much should I pay my cleaner during the lockdown?
Q. Mary, what percentage of cleaners’ normal wages should we pay them when they can’t come in for the foreseeable…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my family scoffing our coronavirus chocolate stockpile?
Q. How can I stop a member of the household from glutting out on the chocolate supply I have stockpiled?…
Dear Mary: How can I foil a notorious place-swapper at my daughter’s wedding?
Q. I am arranging the seating plan for my daughter’s wedding and have a problem with one of her guests…
Dear Mary: Should I return my pod coffee maker on moral grounds?
Q. I adore doing jigsaws and these days there’s an added bonus — by posting my progress on Instagram I…
Dear Mary: Should I tell my friend that his expensive lunch made me ill?
Q. I see a lot of two of our grandchildren because they live in our London house. We are centrally…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette about kissing during the coronavirus scare?
Q. I am having a drinks party to celebrate the publication of my latest book. I sent out invitations (to…
Dear Mary: As an actor, how do I cope with strangers who think they know me?
Q. I have hired a private room in a restaurant in order to give dinner to a large number of…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my mother-in-law sitting on newspaper whenever she comes to my house?
Q. When my mother-in-law visits, she puts newspaper on a dining chair before sitting down. I’m so speechless that someone…
Dear Mary: How can I stop other diners eating my chips?
Q. My husband and I are committed Brexiteers. For many years we have regularly enjoyed friendly bridge evenings with a…
Dear Mary: How can I hang out with smokers at parties without freezing?
Q. As a young woman I tend not to wear that much to social events in the evening, but I…
Dear Mary, from Joan Collins: How do I stop fans asking for selfies in the powder room?
From Dame Joan CollinsQ. Invariably, when I escape to the ladies’ room or powder room or restroom (whatever the current…
Dear Mary: What can we do about our son’s girlfriend’s appalling table manners?
Q. My son has a girlfriend who we like but who has appalling table manners. They come to stay most…
The unwritten rules of sending Christmas cards
No one sends Christmas cards any more. Except that I do, and you might, and a few other people do…
Dear Mary: How do I stop getting lumbered with the washing up on weekends away?
Q. A friend, who is very careful with his money, occasionally invites a group of six to eight out to…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband eating everything in the fridge?
Q. A friend of a friend has an apartment in Venice. I would like to commiserate with her about the…
Dear Mary: What should I do about a Lib Dem friend who can no longer take a joke?
Q. I sent a WhatsApp message to a Lib Dem friend of 15 years. ‘How are you finding being a…
Dear Mary: how can I stop my dad treating my mum like a slave?
Q. Dad takes an old-fashioned approach to marriage: I have never seen him clear his plate and he does not…
Dear Mary: Is my brother being gaslighted by his boss?
Q. My brilliant brother, who graduated last year, could find nowhere to live in London so we were all delighted…
Dear Mary: Do I have a moral duty to allow Brexit chat at supper parties?
Q. I’ve been having friends to supper for many decades. Although I say it myself, these gatherings have often been…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my neighbour making weird noises when he exercises in the garden?
Q. I sing soprano in a small church choir, ten to 12 singers. The woman I am placed next to…
Dear Mary: How can I tell a man at yoga class to cover up?
Q. My sister runs a yoga school and a middle-aged gentleman has joined. Although she is delighted to encourage male…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with university flatmates who can’t cook?
Q. For many years I employed around 60 people with whom I worked in an open-plan office. I moved on from…
