Friendship
Dear Mary: How do I get my masseuse to stop talking?
Q. Our two daughters often bring friends down for the weekend. These friends are more than welcome; we enjoy their…
Dear Mary: Should I pay to charge my electric car at a friend’s house?
Q. An acquaintance suggested organising a celebratory dinner in honour of some mutual friends. He asked my husband and me,…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my grey-haired friend giving away my true age?
Q. I never lie about my age but I try not to think — or talk — about it. Now…
My failed attempts to be a good Samaritan
Being a good Samaritan is harder than it seems
Dear Mary: How do we stop our friends’ dogs wrecking our house?
Q. We have old friends who live in the northern hinterlands and have a property in Provence where they normally…
Dear Mary: How can we avoid getting stuck with a useless cleaner?
Your problems solved
Dear Mary: How do we tell our friend that her hairstyle doesn’t suit her?
Q. At a lunch party, I was getting on so well with someone I had not met before. She knew…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my fiancee that she eats with her mouth open?
Q. I’ve recently been approached by a very good friend who — with genuinely admirable candour and tact — pointed…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with colleagues’ bad habits now I’m back in the office?
Q. I am placed in a social dilemma due to a proposed visit on the last weekend of June by…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of loo-flushing for overnight guests?
Q. My husband and I have started receiving invitations to large summer events scheduled for after 21 June. We have…
A celebration of friendship: Common Ground, by Naomi Ishiguro, reviewed
Naomi Ishiguro began writing Common Groundin the aftermath of the Brexit referendum. The title refers to both Goshawk Common in…
Dear Mary: What should my wife and I do with the risque photos we took in our youth?
Q. I hesitate to bring you this problem, but I suspect it is not that uncommon. Early in our very…
Farewell to my dear friend Richard, the very best of us
I heard the shocking news last week that one of my oldest friends — Richard Edwards — had died suddenly…
Dear Mary: Should I give my postman a Christmas present?
Q. I am extremely fond of an artist friend, despite the fact that I have never liked her work or…
Dear Mary: How can I wind up a Zoom call with a chatty friend?
Q. Is there a tactful way to wind up a Zoom call when one of you has more time on…
Dear Mary: How should I handle my bitchy friend’s birthday cards?
Q. Many years ago I was asked to officiate at a funeral for a family I did not know. As…
Barbara Amiel: My memoir has cost me my best friends
The only female writers of importance I have personally met are Margaret Atwood and Joan Didion, both of whom are…
Dear Mary: How can we be sure our host gives us clean sheets?
Q. Some friends persist on displaying our email addresses in large address lists when sending out round robins to all…
The politics of email sign-offs
I think Anne Applebaum is a friend of mine. I certainly hope so, since I have always admired her writing,…
Trick or treat: the pros and cons of being hacked
The pros and cons of being hacked
The intense pleasures of lockdown
I used to live in Mogadishu for months at a time, cooped up in compounds behind fortified walls. Venturing on…
An open letter to the friend who dropped me after Question Time
I’ve put off sending a private email that’s been ready to go for weeks. Then last Sunday, I read Julie…
Dear Mary: As an actor, how do I cope with strangers who think they know me?
Q. I have hired a private room in a restaurant in order to give dinner to a large number of…
The unwritten rules of sending Christmas cards
No one sends Christmas cards any more. Except that I do, and you might, and a few other people do…
Dear Mary: Is it ever acceptable to blow my own trumpet?
Q. A friend of 30 years moved abroad three years ago. He then was diagnosed with throat cancer but mercifully…
