Language
The wonder of the Metaphor Map
‘What’s that?’ asked my husband, looking at my laptop. ‘Fibonacci fossilised?’ His question made no sense, but I saw what…
The linguistic ingredients of ‘salmagundi’
‘It makes me hungry,’ said my husband when I mentioned the word salmagundi. That is his reaction to many words.…
The Aesopian language of algospeak
To evade algorithms that hunt down forbidden words, users of platforms like TikTok employ cryptic synonyms. So deadbecomes unalive, and…
What’s the right way to pronounce ‘gif’?
The man who invented gifs, Stephen Wilhite, has died, aged 74. Controversy survives him – over how to pronounce the…
When did brothers and sisters become ‘siblings’?
I never cared much for the word sibling, though I hardly knew why. The reason must be that it was…
How do you pronounce ‘Cirencester’ and ‘Marylebone’?
‘Half! Half! Half!’ exclaimed my husband like a performing sea lion. Not that sea lions perform any more, but you…
Why does everything ‘embolden’ Putin?
The most emboldened man on earth must be Vladimir Putin. Everything seems to embolden him. Treating Russia as a pariah…
The complicated business of swearing in Ukrainian
‘This will interest you,’ said my husband, looking up from the smeared screen of his telephone. For once he was…
How 'like' lost its way
A strange crisis has befallen like. It had long been an object of obloquy and vilification in two functions. The…
How the ancients approached the three Rs
German archaeologists have found ancient Egyptian tablets covered in repetitive writing exercises and ask — were they pupil punishments? But…
Where’s the ‘mystery’ in mystery plays?
In The Archers, Ambridge put on its own set of mystery plays dramatising the Nativity and Passion. BBC Radio 4…
When did ‘pikey’ become offensive?
A policeman sent a colleague who was house-sitting for him a WhatsApp message: ‘Keep the pikeys out.’ He was sacked…
What does ice cream have to do with ‘late capitalism’?
‘More to my taste is Trockenbeerenkapitalismus,’ said my husband with an intonation that indicated a joke. The joke was a…
What’s so funny about ‘helpmeet’?
‘What’s so funny?’ asked my husband, accusingly, as I made an amused noise while relaxing with a copy of the…
Is the Duke of York’s title really ‘untenable’?
‘Nurse! The tenaculum!’ exclaimed my husband in the manner of James Robertson Justice playing the surgeon Sir Lancelot Spratt. I’m…
The elementary misuse of ‘alumni’
My husband is forever being sent magazines from his Oxford college inviting him to give it money. I suggest he…
Why is Microsoft offended by ‘Mrs Thatcher’?
The interregnum between incumbents is a well-known and often elongated process in the Church of England. I have recently witnessed…
The real ‘scallop’ war: how do you pronounce it?
‘You say scallops and I say scallops,’ sang my husband in his best Ginger Rogers accents. Since we both pronounce…
Who owns the language?
The mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, is giving local residents £25,000 grants to enable them to change the names of…
Can men be witches?
‘No, darling, I certainly wouldn’t call you a witch,’ said my husband. ‘You’re not thin enough.’ The Oxford English Dictionary…
Can a criminal really be ‘prolific’?
The BBC made a documentary about a man sent to prison for being the ‘most prolific rapist in British legal…
What exactly is the ‘festive season’?
‘Here you are, darling,’ I said to my husband. ‘These lines might have been written for you: “Drinke, quaffe, be…
We are in a perfect storm of perfect storms
When my husband’s whisky glass fell off the little table next to his chair on to next door’s cat, which…
The problem with ‘bame’
In its coverage of the shuffled cabinet, the BBC added a note: ‘BAME (Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic) is a…
What does Peter Quennell have to do with fish?
When Peter Quennell was sent down from Oxford for consorting with a woman called Cara (by Evelyn Waugh’s account), he…
