manners
Dear Mary, from Joan Collins: How do I stop fans asking for selfies in the powder room?
From Dame Joan CollinsQ. Invariably, when I escape to the ladies’ room or powder room or restroom (whatever the current…
Dear Mary: What can we do about our son’s girlfriend’s appalling table manners?
Q. My son has a girlfriend who we like but who has appalling table manners. They come to stay most…
Dear Mary: How do I stop getting lumbered with the washing up on weekends away?
Q. A friend, who is very careful with his money, occasionally invites a group of six to eight out to…
Dear Mary: Is my brother being gaslighted by his boss?
Q. My brilliant brother, who graduated last year, could find nowhere to live in London so we were all delighted…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my neighbour making weird noises when he exercises in the garden?
Q. I sing soprano in a small church choir, ten to 12 singers. The woman I am placed next to…
Dear Mary: How can I tell a man at yoga class to cover up?
Q. My sister runs a yoga school and a middle-aged gentleman has joined. Although she is delighted to encourage male…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with university flatmates who can’t cook?
Q. For many years I employed around 60 people with whom I worked in an open-plan office. I moved on from…
Dear Mary: What can I do about the vexatious racket of windchimes?
Q. I took an old friend to Bellamy’s for lunch. We were just settling in for a proper gossip when…
Dear Mary: How do I stop men sending me articles from the Guardian?
Q. It is difficult to know what to do when homeless people ask you for cash as you are leaving…
Dear Mary: How should I deal with a friend who leaves appalling comments on Facebook?
Q. Friends and I keep in touch and share our more memorable experiences on Facebook. One friend is an elderly…
Dear Mary: How do I handle the dreaded ‘B word’ at supper parties?
Q. I have lost many friends and acquaintances by discussing Brexit and finding fundamental differences of opinion. Recently I have…
Dear Mary: How can I stop the book club gossip from snooping around my house?
Q. One of the members of our book club is particularly nosy and gossipy. I like this woman, but when…
Dear Mary: Is it ever acceptable to blow my own trumpet?
Q. A friend of 30 years moved abroad three years ago. He then was diagnosed with throat cancer but mercifully…
Dear Mary: What should I do when my host won’t serve the champagne I brought?
Q. Was I right to feel aggrieved when, having contributed a bottle of fine champagne to a small supper party,…
Dear Mary: how can I tell my chatty masseur to stop talking?
Q. Like many of his profession, Manolo, my most-proficient masseur, has the gift of the gab and maintains a garrulous…
Dear Mary: is it ever acceptable to use a dental brush at the dinner table?
Q. Whenever I go to the theatre or cinema with any man of 60-plus, he falls asleep, even when the…
Dear Mary: Is it really forbidden to eat with a fork’s tines facing upwards?
Q. My husband and I have been invited to the birthday party of a distinguished public figure with whom we…
Dear Mary: I can’t put names to faces – and it’s starting to upset friends
Q. I am in my mid-sixties and have started to suffer from nominal aphasia. At a recent wedding in the…
Dear Mary: What do I say when people want to visit my family’s stately home for free?
Q. My husband and I were among the first to arrive at a recent large house party in Scotland. We…
The short step from good manners to lofty imperialism
In the gap between what we feel ourselves to be and what we imagine we might in different circumstances become,…
Dear Mary: As best man, can I seduce the groom’s sister?
Q. We often take friends to what my husband calls a ‘poncey’ pub which has won numerous awards and where…
Dear Mary: How to get out of a neighbours’ dinner party invite?
Q. A couple who live directly opposite us in London have sent a save-the-date notice for a big party they…
I’ll never again set foot in the Eagle Club
Gstaad A couple of columns ago I wrote about an incident that took place at the Eagle Club here in…
Dear Mary: How can I tell a friend her mole is disgusting?
Q. Recently, during a stay in a luxurious mountain hotel in Italy, and having hurt my knee skiing, I was…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my landlords they’ve ruined my life?
Q. For some time I have been spoiled by paying a small rent for a central flat belonging to absentee…
