Modern manners
Mary solves your problems: What do you say when a screaming child is ruining your lunch?
Q. My wife and I were having lunch in our local bistro. A boy of about two was wandering around…
Mary solves your problems: what’s the right response to a request for no presents?
Q. We have reached the age when we are receiving invitations from our friends for Golden Wedding celebrations. All the…
The kids aren’t all right
Our histrionic parenting is making today’s young people mad, unhappy and fat
The danger of no danger
We all know about helicopter parents and how terrible they can be. In New York, where I live, a mother…
Dear Mary
Q. What is the etiquette of hospital visiting? A friend in his fifties is about to spend six weeks in…
Dear Mary
Q. A newish friend who has very good manners lent me a DVD of his grandfather at the Olympics. I…
The young oppress their future selves
Matt Ridley’s fine recent Times column was hardly the first to raise the alarm about the pseudo-Soviet intolerance of the…
Dear Mary
Q. A well-known television mogul,whom I had met only once, came to dinner at my house. I was on good…
Dear Mary
Q. We have moved from London into a rural area where we are preparing for the first visit of a…
Dear Mary
Q. How can I avoid becoming seen as an ‘Instagram creeper’? My well-meaning niece tells me that I’m in danger…
Dear Mary
Q. Last year my husband and I stayed with a much-loved, but slightly airy-fairy friend in her house in Tuscany.…
Dear Mary
Q. My partner and I recently had two close friends — one a Peer, the other a former Member of the…
Dear Mary
Q. Some rather flashy new neighbours of ours — I won’t mention their names as his will be familiar to…
Dear Mary
Q. I am in my seventies and my husband is in his nineties. The other night we had two couples…
Snobbery in the age of social media
We like to think we have moved on from the age of snobbery. Judging others by birth or status, or…
Snapping point
Our family holiday snaps used to be slides. We’d gather in the sitting room while Dad clicked through each one.…
Dear Mary
Q. My children are very lucky in that we have bought them all flats. However, they are now renting out…
Why must I have a strong opinion about everything?
At a party earlier this summer, I was chatting to a man who asked me how I voted in last…
Dear Mary
Q. Is there an etiquette regarding security gates? My wife and I were invited to dinner by new neighbours who…
Low life
The hen party was seated at an outside restaurant table under the plane trees when I arrived. They sat with…
Real life
‘What do you think it means?’ I asked the builder boyfriend as we stood in front of the sign. A…
Being anti-smoking damages your mental health
I lit a cigarette in an open-air car park a couple of years ago as I was walking to the…
Arms and the man
Meeting men used to be so easy. I don’t mean that in a Grindr sort of way. I just mean…
Dear Mary
Q. ‘Alfred’ is a friend of 30 years’ standing who has just married for the first time. Alfred retains all…
In praise of Advent
The first Sunday of Advent is 27 November this year. For those of us who prefer Advent services to Christmas…
