social humour
Dear Mary: How can we get our star friend along to dinner when he’s so busy?
Q. We want to invite a rather exceptional friend to dinner. He lives nearby but he has a top job…
Dear Mary: What do you do when your secretary accuses you of not making a pass?
Q. I am at the age where parts of the body start to go wrong, and I have a minor…
Dear Mary: how do you deal with a daughter who has gone vegan to get attention?
Q. Several friends have reached an age and wealth that means they take unreasonably long holidays or even entire gap…
Mary solves your problem: Is it cultural appropriation for an English person to attend a Burns supper?
Q. Should the lady or the gentleman have the banquette in a restaurant? I’ve been brought up to believe that…
Mary solves your problems: A secret school scrapbook discovered by the housemaster
Q. At my son’s school the boys keep a clandestine leatherbound book known as ‘The Bible’, a sort of Rogues…
Mary solves your problems: What do you say when a screaming child is ruining your lunch?
Q. My wife and I were having lunch in our local bistro. A boy of about two was wandering around…
Mary solves your problems: what’s the right response to a request for no presents?
Q. We have reached the age when we are receiving invitations from our friends for Golden Wedding celebrations. All the…
Dear Mary
Q. A newish friend who has very good manners lent me a DVD of his grandfather at the Olympics. I…
Dear Mary
Q. We have moved from London into a rural area where we are preparing for the first visit of a…
Dear Mary
Q. How can I avoid becoming seen as an ‘Instagram creeper’? My well-meaning niece tells me that I’m in danger…
Dear Mary
Q. My partner and I recently had two close friends — one a Peer, the other a former Member of the…
Dear Mary
Q. Some rather flashy new neighbours of ours — I won’t mention their names as his will be familiar to…
Dear Mary
Q. I am in my seventies and my husband is in his nineties. The other night we had two couples…
Dear Mary
Q. I’m shortly to host a very large family gathering. Everyone will be related to the same ancestor, so we…
Dear Mary
Q. Is there an etiquette regarding security gates? My wife and I were invited to dinner by new neighbours who…
Dear Mary
Q. ‘Alfred’ is a friend of 30 years’ standing who has just married for the first time. Alfred retains all…
Dear Mary: Is it OK to ask to drink the wine you brought to a dinner party?
Q. What is the etiquette regarding asking to drink the wine you have brought to a dinner party? The man…
Dear Mary: why have all my friends given me scented candles?
Q. My super successful son kindly gave a birthday dinner party for me in a glamorous London club. I have never…
Dear Mary: How can I angle for a wedding invitation?
Q. How does one go about getting invited to a wedding? Two friends of mine from university, who I have…
Dear Mary: my niece hasn’t returned the small sum I lent her
Q. My niece, who came to stay with me in the country for the weekend, arrived without cash and asked…
Dear Mary: How can I teach my godson to write thank-you letters?
Q. I recently rediscovered a wonderful 22-year-old godson. He came to shoot for the first time and was a marvellous…
Dear Mary: My neighbour is planning a girls’ night in — how can I escape?
Q. Although I have met most of the fellow occupants of my building at residents’ meetings, we don’t socialise. However…
Dear Mary solves problems for Nicky Haslam, Nigel Slater, Professor Mary Beard and others
From Nicky Haslam Q. Being considered something of a guru on the subject of things common, can you advise me…
Dear Mary: How can I shut up business travel bores?
Q. I work in the London art market. Often, when I run into a fellow dealer and ask how they…
Dear Mary: why are young women dyeing their hair grey?
Q. I have lunch once a month with an old university friend. Over the years we have both thickened out…
