Subscriber Only
My feud with Conrad Black
Goody goody gumdrops! The Donald has pardoned Lord Black and I couldn’t be happier. Conrad got a bum deal and…
Banana leaf, wood-effect on knitted? Choosing my mother’s coffin
The mental fruit of yet another sleepless night was that my mother was determined to arrange her funeral as quickly…
My little lodger has been stolen from me
‘Farewell then, little lodger. I wish you would stay for ever but I understand that girls in their early twenties…
The death of New York’s nightlife
New York This is my last week in the Bagel and I’m going to give it the old college…
Now that Brexit’s been cancelled I’m moving to the Dordogne
‘When you are in a hole stop digging. Have you never heard that?’ I asked the builder boyfriend, as he…
A lament for the UK and the US
New York Here’s a question for you: if your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, toy boy even, lied repeatedly to…
Will the Mistral drive me to murder?
So far this latest Mistral wind has blown for two and a half weeks. The Mistral is said to blow…
I’ve reached scandal saturation point
A letter before action, or something that looked very much like it, arrived on my doormat from an insurance company.…
Sebastian Flyte had nothing on me: memories of a misspent youth
Charlottesville is an enchanting Virginia college town graced by the neoclassical architecture of the university’s founder, Thomas Jefferson. I flew…
Meet Santini: the world’s worst tourist guide
Santino was unusually short in the leg and, in his mid-twenties, was already rapidly losing his hair. He had recently…
The NHS’s CBT mailshot is a scandal
A leaflet came through my door from the NHS inviting me to take part (if that is the right term)…
In praise of privacy
David Niven’s younger son Jamie, now an old man and a bit overweight, approached my table and announced that he…
The joy of scrumpy
‘How’s your day going?’ said the taxi driver as he snapped his knob into drive. If I caught the plane…
Have I misrepresented the builder boyfriend?
‘That’s not the builder boyfriend,’ said the luncheon guest as he eyed the builder boyfriend over the table. ‘Well then,…
Why conservatives can’t survive in government
I had mixed feelings about the sacking of Roger Scruton from the government’s Building Better, Building Beautiful Commission, following comments…
The comedy and tragedy of Trump
New York On 21 April 1980, Rosie Ruiz won the fabled Boston Marathon in record time and looked as fresh…
A moral dilemma on my freebie holiday
We drove north and parked in the designated car park with a quarter of an hour to spare before the…
The truth is messy. Village gossip is even messier
An angry villager accosted me outside my house as I came through my front door. ‘You’re wrong about those horses,’…
My advice to men and women
OK chaps, keep your hands where people can see them, and don’t touch. And try not to look. Soon that…
I took Oscar to Provence – in business class!
In the Easter holidays, plus two school days, for which his mother will be fined or, as a serial offender,…
I will never, ever, vote Conservative again
With very little expectation they would care, I sent an email to Mole Valley Conservatives. It always amuses me, that…
In what possible way was Nick Boles ever a Conservative?
Who is your favourite brave Remainer Conservative MP? Anna Soubry has to be near the top of the list, for…
Mortimer Sackler and me
New York It was 51 years ago, in the Hôtel du Cap d’Antibes, that I first met the man…
Am I about to be usurped by Philippe, our handsome French gardner?
We have a gardener, Philippe, who comes once a week. He lives in a ruin a little way down the…
The builder boyfriend and I have left the EU – and it’s great
After all that waiting and arguing, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed leaving the EU. The builder boyfriend and I…
