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The truth is we prefer to lie
There are no necessary truths any more. Everything is contingent. And those contingencies are the consequence not of what happens…
If Jeremy Corbyn gets in, then I’m out
To London for much too brief a visit: a marriage, lunch with Commodore Tim Hoare, and a look-see for a…
The English-Scottish gender divide
Once the house move was completed, Catriona’s oldest and best Scottish friends, two of them, came to stay for a…
I’m an equal of Socrates and Wittgenstein — and if anyone disputes it they can go to hell
The grandest view of Gstaad and the surrounding Saanen valley bar none — and that includes the vista from my…
450 bottles of red? What more could I want from a neighbour
I have a friend here in this French village to which we moved just over a week ago. He is…
Why mutilate a perfectly good pronoun?
‘I’m just going to pop yourself on hold,’ said the girl from the online shopping firm who was trying to…
A foretaste of Frexit
Moving day. The contents of a hillside shack to be moved four miles to a cave house perched high on…
Why my lodger has to be a girl
The little lodger is moving in. I chose her after an exhaustive search of twentysomethings looking for accommodation, during which…
Back from the brink
The long table was set out under four beautifully pollarded plane trees festooned with coloured lanterns and red balloons. Twenty…
I was hounded by a canine sex pest
A big part of my problem is that I don’t understand why people do the things they do. I was…
For the love of gin
I’d missed the train, and the next was due in 45 minutes, so I popped into the nearby salon for…
Is it easier to leave the EU than Norton AntiVirus?
Leaving Norton, the antivirus software package, is a bit like trying to leave the EU. You may think, once you…
What would Oscar tell his dad first about our eventful fortnight in the south of France?
I was present in the room when Oscar encountered his father for the first time since returning from his fortnight…
When you compare ragwort to Islamic extremism, who should be more offended?
When I made a joke about ragwort being like Islamic extremism, I expected someone to write in. I was fully…
A spiritual journey to see some very expensive paintings
The Villa Carnignac art gallery is located on a Mediterranean island off the French Riviera called Porquerolles. Purpose-built to show…
I am high as a Kite on gloss paint (excuse the pun)
After I had been glossing the woodwork for a few days, I started to feel light-headed. It hadn’t occurred to…
Empty restaurants are becoming a bad habit of mine: Coq d’Argent reviewed
I wouldn’t normally visit Coq d’Argent, which I think means the chicken of money. It is a moderately famous restaurant…
Why the kindness of strangers trumps a pagan festival
The entire Alpine village, contemptuously dismissed recently in an online tourist guide as a nondescript centre of old peasants and…
Why won’t anyone live with me?
When I placed an advert for a lodger I really did expect potential tenants to want to come and see…
Boris wars
Ever since Boris Johnson resigned as foreign secretary, it was generally assumed that there would — in time — be…
How to survive a French heatwave
Me in a black polo-neck jumper looking sour; Oscar wearing a floppy hat; her youngest daughter nude and stooping to…
Welcome to customer services, Guantanamo Bay-style
The engineer from Beko arrived and got to work trying to mend the new fridge. Having spent a very long…
Confessions of a cave-dweller continued
The cave house next to ours is let out to weekly renters. A green-eyed German with a ponytail came out…
Portrait of a seven-year-old state-run child
Saturday morning. Quarter to 12. Sit-down fish and chips at the Silver Grill: me, Oscar and Oscar’s cousin Atticus. Atticus…
It was either new carpets – or happy dogs
Instead of carpeting the upstairs of the house, I had grass fragments removed from the dogs’ ears. I can’t say…
