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Writing my High Life column made a man of me

25 April 2020 9:00 am

As Cole Porter might have said, only second-rate people go on and on about their inner lives. Self-analysis, according to…

Vodka, kaolin and morphine: my welcome drinks at The Spectator offices

25 April 2020 9:00 am

In 2001, aged 44, I was hired to write a weekly column for this august paper, and for the first…

We don’t have lockdown in Surrey

25 April 2020 9:00 am

The man was unloading cycles from the boot of his car just as I was about to take the turning…

Would my success in growing cannabis plants translate to nasturtiums?

18 April 2020 9:00 am

In a cave once used as a stable and now abandoned, I found a wooden crate containing a dozen tiny…

The joy of pumping iron at 83

18 April 2020 9:00 am

Gstaad So the days — and months — drift by. This once peaceful Alpine town is packed with rich refugees…

Why I joined the Jehovah’s Witnesses

18 April 2020 9:00 am

The toad who lives at the bottom of the garden in the pile of bricks beneath the potting table was…

This pandemic is showing us for who we really are

4 April 2020 9:00 am

The spaniel curled up in her basket with one of my shoes, one of his socks and a packet of…

Had the entire village population been wiped out since last week?

4 April 2020 9:00 am

With my signed and dated laissez-passer in my pocket, I trotted down to the village to see if I could…

Covid-19 shows us that virtue trumps freedom

4 April 2020 9:00 am

Look at it this way: we’re all doing Desert Island Discs nowadays, and unless you’ve got the bug, it’s a…

How tennis went socialist

28 March 2020 9:00 am

Desperately boring times but very healthy ones. No parties, no girls, not too much boozing, lots of smoking and reading…

If I don’t like being fat, I should be allowed to say so

14 March 2020 9:00 am

The game was up when I put on a pair of size 14 jodhpurs at the country store and they…

Britain has its first punk-rock government

14 March 2020 9:00 am

The most surprising thing about the letter from Guardian and Observer journalists moaning about Suzanne Moore’s supposed ‘transphobia’ is that…

America has turned into a bad joke

14 March 2020 9:00 am

Gstaad   Rumours about the virus are flying around this village. First there was talk of a hotel being temporarily…

The joy of Xanax

14 March 2020 9:00 am

The greater the enervation, it is said, the greater the appreciation of a work of art. There was no place…

A guide to coronavirus hoarding

7 March 2020 9:00 am

We have now got past the absurd stage of glaring in a reproachful manner at Chinese people on the tube.…

In defence of Priti Patel

29 February 2020 9:00 am

We will rue the day we all decided bullying was a bad thing. The consequence is that the inept, the…

Why Spectator readers are the nicest people

29 February 2020 9:00 am

Gstaad It feels like a sepia-tinged melodrama, one directed by the great schlock master Sam Wood. Driving along the winding…

The film that shaped my vision of the world

29 February 2020 9:00 am

Joyce Marriott of Pyrton, Oxford, has written a letter to the Times on the subject of how a person’s imagination…

Is it possible to have a touch of coronavirus?

29 February 2020 9:00 am

Nice of the NHS to send an advisory text about coronavirus, because I was wondering. Is it possible to have…

The blindness of cultural Marxism

21 February 2020 10:00 pm

Words we are not allowed to use any more now include ‘cultural Marxism’. Suella Braverman, now the Attorney General, used…

Why Bloomberg will be president

21 February 2020 10:00 pm

Gstaad I was not aware that there is a group of Spectatorfans who meet in French-speaking Switzerland. They contacted me…

How to sample your own urine

21 February 2020 10:00 pm

Seven round the table for dinner. Wild mushroom risotto. I was told to sit next to Michael. Good. Michael makes…

As long as jokes remain legal I’ll keep on making them

21 February 2020 10:00 pm

Mr Benn has been in touch because he wants a right of reply to an article I wrote about my…

The last working-class people in the Labour party

15 February 2020 9:00 am

A couple of people in the Hornsey and Wood Green Labour party have come up with a fascinating suggestion —…

The appeal of ugly men

15 February 2020 9:00 am

Gstaad Lenin Moreno is in trouble, despite his very unchristian first name. For any of you unfamiliar with the name,…